Hunger in my Heart

Chapter 4

Kimberley slumped back down in her seat again. Her mind was in a whirl, everything from the last seven plus years running through her head like a film strip. She kept seeing flashes of memories, the first time she ever saw Cheryl in the line at auditions and how adorable she thought she was with her dimples and chocolate eyes, their mutual joy at making the band, their first number one single, how Cheryl threw up on her shoes five minutes before their first ever tour concert, how Cheryl held her like she would never let her go after their last concert together last year and everything in between. Seven years of life on tour and music promotions that led to them being the most successful girl group in UK chart history flashed through her head in rapid fashion.

They had achieved a lot as a band, certainly more than anyone ever gave them credit for, she thought ruefully. Most in the industry expected Girls Aloud to be a one-hit wonder and then fade into obscurity like most musical acts formed out of reality television. But they hadn't, and their last album before they decided to go on a hiatus proved it. Seven years after being formed on Popstars: The Rivals, they had a number one album, a number one single, a huge sold-out arena tour and a BRIT award. Even as Kimberley reflected on the achievements of Girls Aloud and everything it had afforded her, she knew that the greatest thing she had ever gained from the band was Cheryl. Nothing she had and none of the fame and fortune was worth anything to her if she didn't have Cheryl in her life.

Kimberley was jerked out of her thoughts when a hand landed on her knee. Looking up she noted that Sundraj was looking at her with compassion and a little regret.

"Kimberley, would you mind calling Nicola, she'll probably take it better coming from you," Sundraj pointed out.

He was right, she knew this, in fact Sundraj like most PR men, had an annoying habit of always being right, but the mere thought of breaking the news to Nicola was a bit daunting. Nicola and Cheryl were very close as well; having shared a flat for the first three years after the band was formed. As well, Nicola was the baby of the band, having been only sixteen in the beginning and both Cheryl and Kimberley were especially fierce about protecting her. Now at twenty-four, Nicola was a polished and sophisticated young women, very media savvy and extremely grounded as an individual, but she was still the youngest and would always elicit Kimberley's protective instincts.

Grimacing slightly, Kimberley picked up her phone and quickly called Nicola.

"Kimberley!" Nicola exclaimed, without even saying hello. "Where are you? Have you heard about Chez? Hilary called last night to let me know she was taken to hospital..."

"Nic," Kimberley interrupted her before twenty more questions were forthcoming, "listen I'm at the hospital now, you need to get down here as well." There was a long pause as Nicola absorbed this information.

"But, last night Hilary said she didn't want us to come down and draw more media attention..." She trailed off uncertainly.

"I know..." Kimberley paused and took a deep breath before continuing "Nicola, Cheryl's in a really bad way and they want everyone to come down here, okay?" She squeezed her eyes shut and rested her head in her hand, just saying that out loud hurt.

"But, they said she was going to be okay last night!" Nicola exclaimed in disbelief. "She has to be alright..." Nicola's voice broke on the last word, causing Kimberley's stomach to roll queasily.

"Nic, look get Charlie to call Sundraj, he'll give him instructions on how to get into the hospital and avoid the press," Kimberley instructed, referring to Nicola's boyfriend of two years.

"Okay," Nicola agreed, her voice firming up with determination, she may have been the youngest but she had always had a 'don't fuck with me attitude' living up to her fiery redhead reputation. "We'll be there as soon as we can. Everything will be okay Kimba, there is no way Cheryl would leave us, and you know how stubborn she is," Nicola proclaimed, before hanging up.

Kimberley smiled at her friend's reassuring words, even though she was the kid, she was a very strong woman and always had been. You would have to be to survive being thrown into the spotlight at sixteen and all the pressures of being in one of the biggest bands in the UK. Kimberley wasn't sure how she herself had done it and she had just turned twenty-one at the time, she didn't think her sixteen-year-old self would have managed as well as Nicola had.

Looking up she noted Hilary just ending a call on her phone as well.

"So, Sarah is coming down now," Hilary said, referring to their other band mate.

"What about Nadine?" Kimberley enquired.

"Well, we are in luck there; she's actually in Ireland visiting family and not in LA. I haven't spoken to her yet, just her sister, I'm sure we'll get a call soon. I said it was urgent," Hilary explained.

So, that was pretty much everyone accounted for then, Kimberley thought. She was sure Joan had called Cheryl's extended family and let them know, and really besides from her family and the band, Kimberley didn't think anyone else was close enough to Cheryl to be here at this time. Except for one person, she suddenly thought with a mental grimace, she idly wondered if anyone had bothered to call Cheryl's estranged husband. Ashley probably has a right to know, although Cheryl had filed for divorce and they were not currently on speaking terms, they were still technically married. Kimberley had a sinking feeling, surely that arsehole couldn't have any rights, any say in her medical treatment, could he?

"Joan," Kimberley whispered urgently to Cheryl's mother in the chair beside her, "what about Ashley, have you contacted him?"

Joan's lips thinned into a line of disapproval, "Aye, I called him, didn't really want him blindsided by the press, but I also told him he wasn't welcome here."

"Oh, good." Kimberley paused not quite sure how to word this next bit, "He doesn't have any say...or rights...when it comes to her treatment, does he?"

Joan gave her hand a little squeeze, "No, don't worry about that Kimberley, he has no rights whatsoever. I'm Cheryl's designated next of kin, and you are her emergency contact. We are both named on her medical power of attorney, so we're the only two with any say," she concluded.

"What? Me? I'm her emergency contact?" Kimberley asked with surprise.

"Aye, she made that all legal like sometime right before you three girls went on holiday to Thailand, and that rat bastard was caught playing away, though the documents are dated December 2007. We called her lawyer yesterday to make sure Ashley had no say, and he doesn't. Cheryl may be a bit scatter-brained about some things, but she obviously knew how to make sure she was proper taken care of if anything ever happened," Joan explained with satisfaction.

Kimberley was shocked, that was two and a half years ago, before Ashley's infidelity had been splashed all over the paper and Cheryl had never said anything to her. That was definitely a surprise. She'd never really considered it herself as Cheryl had actually taken Ashley back after the first 'incident', much to everyone's dismay. Thinking back though, things had definitely been different between the couple after that, Cheryl would frequently forget to wear her wedding ring, she seemed even less fussed about spending massive amounts of time apart from her husband, she had more or less stopped talking about him and Kimberley knew that Cheryl didn't truly trust him. In fact to her, Cheryl had never seemed to reengage with her husband or recommit to her marriage after Ashley's first infidelity, despite all the outward appearances. Sometimes Kimberley really wondered why Cheryl had stayed with him until he had a chance to cheat on her again this past year and to have another scandal in the papers.

As well as Kimberley knew Cheryl, as much as they shared, Cheryl had refused to talk about Ashley in any depth with her since the first revelations of his infidelity over two years ago. It was the one place Kimberley wouldn't push Cheryl, and she frequently challenged Cheryl on her bullshit, but she knew better to go there. It was clearly something Cheryl did not want to discuss with her, much like Kimberly limited her own discussion about Justin.

It was ironic Kimberley thought; they were closer than they had ever been the last couple of years, two albums, two huge tours, promotion work up the yin-yang, and climbing Mount Kilimanjaro had brought them to a level of friendship that Kimberley had never experienced, but they had not had a real discussion about their respective partners in over two years. And you know exactly why, she reminded herself, it was downright awkward talking about their partners so they just didn't do it anymore. Kimberley's brain skittered away from delving into that subject, even alone in her head she was apparently a chicken she mused mirthlessly.