Hunger in my Heart

Chapter 15

Kimberley let herself into her flat after a long day taping her new show Suck My Pop, what a stupid name she thought, although it was a good job to refine her presenting skills and she was happy to have it. The only problem was now she lived in fear of the name coming out just a bit wrong and it being on outtakes on YouTube in ten seconds flat. Noticing the stuffy and stale air, she started opening some windows to let some fresh air in. In had been just over two weeks since she had left her flat to go to her sister's wedding in France, and except for running in and grabbing some clothes she hadn't been back. Her sister's wedding seemed like an age ago, the time in the hospital had been some of the longest days of her life, while this past week with Cheryl had seemed to fly by.

So much had happened, she reflected, and more still to come because Justin was due home in a few hours and she had no concept of what she was going to do. She supposed she would just have to listen to what he had to say and go from there. She'd texted him to tell him to find his own way back from the airport, that she wouldn't be there, apparently that had been enough to clue him into the fact that Adam had talked to her, because his text back had said that he "could explain," and that he loved her. She was not looking forward to the conversation, she liked to have a plan, and she didn't in this case, she didn't even know how she felt about it.

Carrying her bag up to her room on the second floor, she dumped it on the bed and then went to open the french doors leading out to the roof deck, it was a beautiful summer evening and the sun was just started to set behind the rooftops in the distance. Puttering around for a while, she changed into jeans and a t-shirt, stuffed all her laundry in the hamper and then poured herself large glass of wine before making her way back to the roof to sit in one of the comfortable lounge chairs scattered about. Glancing in through the doors into her bedroom she couldn't help focusing on the large bed that dominated the room, the bed she would be sleeping in alone tonight, because no matter what Justin told her she knew there was no way she would let him in her bed tonight, if ever, she grimly conceded.

Thinking of the bed immediately made her think of Cheryl, which she acknowledged with some amusement was not typically how most women thought of their best friends. Her and Cheryl were actually exceptionally good bed partners, they were very comfortable sharing a bed and had done so pretty consistently over the years whenever they traveled with the band. In retrospect, she realized that she should have put a stop to it years ago, it was a guilty pleasure, one she had never been willing to give up. It did no harm, she reasoned, they were both clear on the lines and had been good at maintaining them for years. With a few exceptions she thought, Warwick being one glaringly obvious example that it would be very easy to cross lines if they didn't keep their guard up.

Two nights in a row she had purposely gone to her own room at Cheryl's house, trying to reestablish some distance and try to figure a way out of the mess her life had become. Two nights in a row, Cheryl had climbed into bed with her sometime in the night, the first morning she had woken late and Cheryl was long gone, but she knew she had been there. Today though she had an early call, and Cheryl had most definitely been there.

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Kimberley awoke, her heart was pounding and she knew she had tears running down her cheeks, she had been dreaming and it had not been pleasant. All she could remember now was the very sad and compassionate face of Cheryl's doctor informing her in sombre tones that they had done everything they possibly could but Cheryl just had not made it. Just the thought of it caused another sob to well up in her chest. Lying on her stomach she buried her face in the pillow and tried not to make too much noise because she could tell that Cheryl was right beside her, probably sleeping because it wasn't even fully light yet.

"Kimberley, ssshhh, it's alright," Cheryl said while running a soothing hand over her back. Okay, maybe she wasn't asleep.

"I'm awake," Kimberley rasped somewhat alarmed at how her voice quivered. It was just a dream, she thought, pull yourself together.