Lifeguard

The Art of a Marauder

James

Day 23 

"Heya, softie."

Regulus swirled his orange juice like it was fine wine. "Are you going through all the ironic nicknames?

I shrugged. "Hardie doesn't work quite as well."

He almost choked on his juice. "Ah, right."

"Would you rather me call you Sour Patch.. adult..?"

"You could think of a different candy."

"Well, their slogan is sour then sweet, but fine. Sour Belt."

He rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, I know you don't want to.."

"So, immediately no."

"But," I continued anyway, "pranks are a marauder thing, and since you live here, you are sort of fixed to be one."

"I still think it's stupid that you three have a friend group name." He said. "Plus, are your parents marauders."

I thought for a second. "I would say they were when they were our age."

"Ah, so marauders have an age limit?"

"No, they just have different jobs now."

He shook his head in amusement. "So, like a retirement age?"

"Uh, sure."

"You know what.."

"What?"

"I'll prank with you."

I clapped and whopped like I just got promoted. "Hell yeah!"

"But first, we prank Sirius."

I smiled. "Great idea."

He considered for a second. "You're taking all the blame."

"I'm fine with that!"

"We're going to mess with his hair."

My smile dropped. "Sirius's..hair?"

His evil smile had returned. "Of course. Pranks are meant to hit you right where you're weak."

"Uh, well, I think pranks are supposed to be harmless and fun. Andnotgetmekilled."

"I don't know." He sipped his juice. "I've heard about some of your pranks."

"Yeah, but.."

"You want me to prank or not?"

I sighed. "Well, when Sirius avoids me like the plague, it's you I'm going to be hanging out with."

"It's not like you leave me alone anyway."

***

A scream echoed throughout the house.

My parents were warned beforehand so they didn't worry.

The house seemed to shake as Sirius came running down the stairs. Or maybe that was my nerves.

He came right up to us and looked between us. "Alright, who did this?"

Regulus was a good actor, and genuinely looked surprised. "What'd you do?"

He gestured to his head, which was now bright red. "I did not do this." He turned his fiery eyes on me.

"Hi?" I looked around to see if I could escape.

"Potter, my hair."

My surroundings told me I was fucked.

"Potter. Did you do this?" He cracked his knuckles. "Don't you dare protect my brother if he did it."