Lifeguard

A Start

Regulus

I sat uncomfortably on the white couch across from my new therapist.

"Hello, I'm Matthew Smith. You can call me Matt if you want."

"Hi, they pay you by the hour so let's just get into this. I'm Regulus black, I'm gay if you have a problem with that, I'm leaving."

"Of course, that's fair. I don't have any problems with you being gay, Regulus. I would like to say-"

"I don't have time. It's not my money. Let me summarize my life."

"I don't think giving a summary of your life is very-"

"Yeah, yeah, anyway, I have abusive paresnts and a non-abusive brother. We are going to court next week to attempt to put them in jail. I now live with my brother's best friend. My brother lives with me too, as well as my brother's best friend's parents. All four of them are nice enough. I don't know if you connected what my last name meant, but my parents are CEOs of Black inc. My brother left my parents around six months before I did, this has caused me to have nightmares which have mostly been gone since I left. It's not his fault, I forced him to go without me. I was going to kill myself, but my brother stopped me before I could."

"Is that your whole life?" He asked

"Most of it, anyway. Not anything more you need to know, I think." I got up

"Wait, Regulus."

"What?"

"Why do you think that summarizing your life is the most efficient way to do therapy?"

"I'm supposed to tell you about my life, right?"

"Yes. But just knowing that the event happened doesn't mean I can help. And the major, mostly negative, life events aren't your whole life."

"What else is there?" I reluctantly sat back down.

"When traumatic events happen, they change how your brain works."

"So I'm..broken."

"No, of course not. Needing help doesn't mean you are broken. I'm here to help you deal with the trauma and learn how to live without letting it influence your life."

"James goes to therapy. He told me. I know he isn't happy all the time, but I don't really know what he needs therapy for."

"You don't need trauma to need therapy. Mental health professionals help all sorts of people. He may seem happy most of the time because he is able to process and communicate when he is struggling."

"So I could be as happy as him?"

"Sure, I don't know James, but it's possible that with work you could get somewhere like that."

"James is Sirius's best friend." After a second I clarified. "Sirius is my brother."

"Ah, one of your new housemates. Do you often compare yourself to him?"

"Are you going to write my answer down?"

"I find when I write things down, patients get anxious about what I'm writing and what it means. Sometimes I write things down after so I can remember what people told me."

"Why are you telling me all this? Aren't you supposed to just tell me how to.. not have trauma?"

"The first few sessions I like to find out about my patients life and why they came in. Also in the first few sessions is the most important time for me to show you that you can trust me."

"Why?"

"Here's a place for you to tell me anything and I won't tell anyone. As long as you aren't in immediate danger of yourself or others."