Unexpected

Chapter XI

I'm back at my house. The place is completely empty. Only myself and Hugo are here. He comes to welcome me at the door. He has been a source of comfort in the middle of this. My mom gave me the dog two years ago when I built the house and told me to take care of him like a son. I didn't get what she meant then but I think I have been doing alright. Hugo is my plus one and I wouldn't swap that for anything in the world.

I pour myself a Negroni and lay on the sofa. I see I have a text notification from my mum but I decide to answer tomorrow. I fumble with Spotify and play something on the speakers. It's something calming and I am seconds away from falling asleep. When I do fall asleep I start dreaming about this man and woman dancing around some sort of room. They seem so in love. This is way too personal for me to be dreaming about it. They slow dance to music playing on the speakers. I recognize bits of the melody but can't identify the name or singer. I watch them dance for a while from a far. This feels so personal. I shouldn't be here. Why are these two strangers dancing in my dreams. Why am I not the one dancing?

The song starts to become louder and I start understanding the lyrics:

Like a hero or a champion / You are the best, you're the best / Like religion or superstition / With you I am blessed / With you I am blessed

I start moving around the room and the walls and furniture start becoming familiar. Is this my apartment? Am I dreaming of two strangers dancing in my seating room? This is confusing. I continue to move around the room. I need to see who these strangers are. The room becomes more real as the song continues.

Now, the river may grow wider / The mountains may reach past the sky / And whether or not you feel the same / My love shall never die / My love shall never die

I can see his face first and to my surprise, it is me. I'm the one dancing. When did this happen? I don't recall this? Who is this woman? Why do I look so in love? Is this a dream or a memory? It must be a dream! I feel so pulled towards her. I need to see who she is. 

But true love is give and take / True love is sacrifice / But there's nothing can keep me from loving you / Not fire, no, not ice / Not fire, no, not ice

I can finally see her face and to my surprise her face is familiar but I can't pin point where do I know her from. Why is she so familiar? Where did I see you? Wait, I recall something. Lights come flashing, the music starts to fade and a beat comes through instead. I can hear club music. House music maybe. What's happening? The woman in the club last night, her face was familiar. Of course, because she is the one in the dream. Did I dream this dream before? No, the dream was a memory and she was in it. She was the one I was dancing with. She was the one I was in love with. She. I loved her. I love her.

I wake up screaming 'Alessandra'. I fall off the sofa but I don't care. Hugo comes to me and I can't stop saying her name 'Alessandra'. Her name is Alessandra. I remember her. I remember dancing with her, in my apartment, in the dark, to Ben Harper. I remember making love to her. I remember falling madly in love with her. I remember considering so many possibilities for us. I remember being chased by paparazzi. I remember her in the Monza. I remember her leaving me. I remember me finding anger made me a better driver. I remember not answering her messages. I remember avoiding any communication with her because it was making me into the driver I needed to be. I remember seeing her face just before the car hit the barriers. I remember.

'A L E S S A N D R A' - I scream from the top of my lungs. Hugo starts barking and I crouch down to pet him and tell him that everything is fine. He is suspicious but stops barking and goes back to his bed.