The Monster (18+)

Chapter 4: First Kiss

Chapter Four
"First Kiss"
Five Years Ago — March

   I was frantically pacing in the living room of the apartment, the person responsible for all of my anxiety just texting me.

   When can I take you out? Dimitri's question was so innocent, but something deep in my core reminded me that Dimitri intentions weren't sweet. They were dominating. Arousing. Enticing.

   Even though my brain was reminding me that I couldn't afford to have a man in my life, my body said otherwise. It's Thursday, and despite it being a few days since I last saw him, I already craved to see him again. Which was completely irresponsible. I knew that.

   Then why didn't I care?

   Lost in my thoughts, I hadn't heard the front door open until Luba called out, "You're here?"

   Glancing up, I watch as Luba's brows furrowed as she stepped further into the apartment before closing the door softly behind her. "Don't you have work?" Then, her eyes dropped to the phone in my hand, and quickly started grinning. "Did he text you again?"

   Before I could even reply, my fourteen year old sister threw herself across the distance between us, snatching the phone out from my grip before I could even realize what she was doing.

   "Oh, look who wants to see you," she cooed once she finished reading the message. "Why didn't you answer him like... at all."

   Stressed out, I rubbed my forehead. "One. Yes I have work, but they pushed my shift to five, so I thought I could grab something to eat." She was still watching me expectedly, so I dragged out a sigh. "And no, I haven't responded. I'm still trying to figure out how to give all of this back to him."

   "Why?" She cried out, dropping the phone on the couch next to us before cuddling her arms. She was still wearing the jacket Dimitri gifted her. "I like it. Don't take it away from me."

   My chest squeezed in pain, watching Luba hold herself. Even though I did the best I could, I know sometimes, my best wasn't enough.

   I glanced at the jacket again. I could return my jacket and the phone, but maybe I could ask Dimitri if I can pay him back in instalments for Luba's coat? Although, I was scared to even consider how much it costed him.

   Seeing Luba still observing me pleadingly, I smiled faintly. "Okay, Luba. You can keep the jacket."

   Like weight was lifting off her shoulders, she sagged and let out a relived sigh. "Thank the lord and Jesus Christ." I rolled my eyes but smiled wider while she skipped to our shared bedroom. When dad used to be around, he slept on the couch—which looked as it smelt: bad.

   When she was gone, I felt my mouth tense in the corners before turning to the couch. The phone was laying down, and my fingers twitched to pick it up again, so I crossed the space between us and brought it to my face.

   I re-read Dimitri's text again, and then the one he sent yesterday evening. Thank you for the cream. Now I know why you've smelt like caramel.

   Salted caramel. It also has hints of vanilla. Not that I said that. I didn't respond because my first thought was, "oh my God, Dimitri remembers what I smell like," and this thought quickly changed to "does he even like it?"

   Why would I care if he liked it or not?

   To stop myself from stressing out, I stuffed my phone into my pants pocket before striding to the kitchen. I grabbed one granola bar and a banana, hoping this will be enough to fill me for the rest of the day.