always been you (Mikey x Draken)

chapter 7

Draken's POV

We sit down back with our friends and this wave of guilt hits me. What did I do? We weren't drunk whatsoever when that all occurred. It happened so fast. If we had not go interrupted, I more than likely would have had sex with him. I wanted this so badly so why does it feel wrong. Maybe I need to stop this now before it happens again. I'm just not thinking straight, that's exactly what's going on right?

I sigh out loud,"You okay, Draken?" I hear Mitsuya ask, giving me a funny look.

"Yea. Sorry, just a lot on my mind." I lie,"I'm gonna get some fresh air.." I didn't realize I missed everyone's conversations about Baji's past and what not because I was too busy thinking about what happened.

I get up from the booth and hurriedly make my way outside. It's pitch black out by this point, only the city lights shine in the sky. I don't smoke but this would sure be a good moment to do so.

"Kenny, you okay?" I know exactly who's followed me out. I turn to face him and he looks a little worried, trying to read any emotion on my face.

I don't respond, I just turn away and continue staring to the city lights glowing. I don't know what to say to him, I so badly just want to grab him and hold him but I just can't. The guilt is too overwhelming. I've always protected him, been there by his side and now I want to just break his fragile body. I can't even look at him without wanting to just take advantage of him. I can't do this.

"Ken-chin, why are you acting like this?"

"Mikey. We can't let that happen again."

"But it will and you know it.." he says. I can't turn around to face him.

"I'm going home."

"Let me come with you, Kenny. Please don't leave me."

His words sting as they leave his mouth. I can't believe I'm doing this to Mikey. I just can't shake this guilt. Maybe I need to separate myself from him since our little encounter and get a clear head.

I ignore him and start to walk across the street to where my bike is parked. I'm suddenly jolted back as the back of my shirt is pulled, making me stumble backwards.

"What the hell, Mikey?!" I snap at him before I feel his hand connect with my face. He slaps me like a girl would but there's so much force behind it. It is Mikey hitting me after all.

"You're going to just leave me? Was that not what you wanted?!" Mikey yells as I sit there rubbing my face.

I choose to stay quiet as he says cruel words to me and this pissing him off more. The look in his eyes is complete anger, maybe this is for the best he feels this way.

"Why would you- I thought you felt the same! I wish you would've died that day, it would've been easier to deal with than this back and forth shit!" He doesn't mean that and I know it. He's trying to hurt me.

He goes to hit me again but I stop his hand this time,"Stop it, Mikey. I'm going home."

He's breathing heavily, if he wanted to, I know he could break away from my grasp but he doesn't until I let him go.

"Goodbye, Mikey.. Let me just go clear my head." I've got to get home and think about this, I can't keep going on with this back and forth. I'm just torturing myself and Mikey at this point. He's exactly what I want but why do I feel so guilty?!

Mikey's POV

Sanzu. I need Sanzu to take me home now, I don't want to be here, I need to get home or I'm going to kill somebody.

My entire body is shaking with anger. I finally thought I had Ken-chin to myself. Why did he change his mind like that? Maybe if we didn't get interrupted, things would've turned out differently. Then he wouldn't have had a chance to change his mind before fucking me. Dammit. He's so hard to deal with.