LAST CHANCE WILL YOU SURVIVE

Thinking A Lot

We got to the house and changed imminently into comfy clothes. When I was done changing I laid on the bed staring at the ceiling. I was thinking about all the things that happened today. I heard Saud come up the steps but didn't look away from the ceiling. He sat on the bed and laid beside me. 

"Did you ever talk to your aunt again?" He said softly.

"No, I don't really want to talk to her right now."

"Understandable."

I turned and looked at Saud. I loved it when his light auburn hair dangled over his amethyst eyes. I slowly ran my finger down a strand of his hair stopping at the end. 

He smiled and ran his finger down a strand of my hair tucking it behind my ear.

"Saud?" I said quietly

"Yes?"

"I've been thinking a lot."

"Have you." He said softly

"Yeah, I have. And it's exhausting and annoying. I wish I were a tiny dust particle so I don't ever have to make scary or hard decisions in my life. Why can't things just be simple and easy." 

He sighed and stared at the ceiling.

"Well, It's not always hard. But when it is it breaks us down into little pieces and we're left to put them back. And It's hard and stressful full and you feel like you're never going to be the same again. You just feel like screaming until someone notices that you need help. Because you don't know how else to tell someone. Life can be hard and annoying especially if you're doing it alone. And sometimes we can't help doing it alone. And that's scary. You can't just avoid this fear like you can with others. But people are by running away from life because they're tired of trying to put back the pieces alone. It's hard being brave enough to go up against your fears. But we can do it. So don't give up because it's hard or scary. You keep going because that's being brave. Not giving up because you know you're going to be okay."

He turned and looked at me with a gentle smile.

 A tear slid down my cheek which was wiped away from his thumb. I wrapped my arms around him hugging him tightly.

"Saud?" I said quietly.

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

He hugged back tightly and rubbed my back.

"Do you want to take a nap while I make food?"

I thought about it and then nodded slowly. He lifted the covers as I climbed under laying my head on the pillow. He sat up on the edge of the bed and put his hand out. I reached out and took his hand as he gently rubbed his thumb across my fingers. He gave my hand a tight squeeze and slowly let go waking to the door. When he was about to leave I stopped him.

"Saud?"

"Yeah?" He said turning around.

"Can you stay just until I fall asleep?"

He chuckled softly and nodded his head.

He sat on the bed and wrapped his arm around me. I instantly grabbed his hand to play with it.

"Sorry, I'm not that good at life advice. But I do know that you're making hard and scary decisions. But you don't need to be scared because I'll be with you. And if something's hard then we can figure it out together like we promised." He said quietly.

I squeezed his hand.

"You know, I'm here if something's hard for you too. You don't have to be afraid to talk about it with me."

He sighed.

"Yeah, I know." He said softly.

It was silent for a while until he started to talk again.

"Did you ever ask our friend group if they wanted to play?"

"No, not yet. I might after this nap." I said yawning.

"Do you know how you're going to ask them in a way it doesn't sound like they're going to die the first day?"

I laughed under my breath.

"No, but I'll figure it out."

I snuggled closer to Saud as he was rubbing my back. I felt my eyes getting heavy but I forced them to stay open. But soon enough my eyes were so heavy that I couldn't keep them open anymore. I looked at the door as my eyes slowly closed until there was nothing. 

I slowly woke up smelling something coming from downstairs. I got confused when I woke up in a bed that wasn't mine but remembered the nap. I looked and saw that Saud was gone. yawned and got out of bed. I went to the door that was closed for some reason and went to open it. But I turned the door knob and it wouldn't open. I kept trying to open it but it wouldn't work. I laid down on the floor and looked through the bottom clearance of the door. The lights were on like they usually are so why is the door locked? 

I started to call for Saud but he never answered. I waited a while to see if I hear anything. I was trying to think of what to do when I heard a familiar hum downstairs. I went up against the door to hear better. I could tell whoever was humming they are pretty far away because of how quiet it was. But it didn't stay like that for long because it slowly got louder as time went on like it was coming up to me. I backed away from the door the closer and louder it got. I heard slow footsteps come up the steps and I walked back preparing for the worst. But as soon as it sounded like they were right outside the door the humming stopped. 

I slowly walked to the door and put my hand on the doorknob. I was scared to turn it because I didn't know what was out there. But I put my fears behind me and slowly turned the door knob. It was still locked. So I went to the closet to see if there were any tools I could use to open it with. I saw the toolbox but it was on the top shelf and there isn't a stool in there. I jumped up trying to reach it with my hand touching it every time. When it was at the very end I jumped up grabbing it. But when I took it off the shelf it was supporting a small weight plate that fell on my head hitting the ground with a loud noise. It hurt a lot but I'm glad it was small or else it could've been bad. I held my head and looked at the toolbox that was on the floor when I dropped it. I leaned down and was about to pick it up when I heard two clicks from the door. I slowly got up and peeked my head out of the closet and saw the door cracked open.