Sweetheart Single

10 | Donuts, Two Cents, and a Library Card

My concentration is shattered when my phone chimes with a new text flow from Darren.

Ugh. How do U do it?

GrindR blows (not in a good way)

I hate dating *angry face*

He's complaining about the lack of gay dating pool on campus again. I just roll my eyes and return them to the Cosmic Philosophy text in front of me.

"What's up?" Carter asks, sitting back in his chair.

I put my phone down and glance up at him. His shaggy black hair is rumpled up in the back like he just rolled out of bed. Sometimes I think he messes it up on purpose.

"Just Darren being Darren." I shake my head, yawning and rubbing my eyes.

It's 10:00 PM on a Friday night and I am sitting in the clock tower with Carter, rereading chapters for the "pop" quiz we know we are having on Monday. We're at the dainty table against the wall beneath the window.

I stare at the moon illuminating the campus below. It looks just like the night Jake walked me home.

Stop, Elle.

I yawn again. If I had a dollar for each yawn tonight, I'd be able to buy several coffees. This would be good, considering I am polishing off my third cup from the mobile java cart set up on the library's ground floor.

My eyes burn from being open so long, from reading, from straining under the dim incandescent lights that were installed in the 1970s. The vinyl flooring is the same too. It's mustard yellow with a pattern made to look like fake stones. I remember seeing this exact flooring in The Brady Brunch reruns I used to watch with my mom on Saturday nights.

The clock tower is by far the most outdated portion of the library –on all of campus maybe! Perhaps it's why it's one of my favorite spots. I both love and hate the stale smell of the old books whose pages are rumpled with years of dried tears.

It is our favorite study spot.

My thumb fumbles turning the page. My pointer finger has yellow highlighter stains on the tip. And my brain is fried right now.

"Want to call it a night?" Carter asks. "You look like you could fall asleep."

"In this chair? Doubtful. It's hard as a rock," I groan.

"Want another donut then?" He nudges the cardboard box across the avocado tabletop.

My eyes drop to the box of donuts from Carter's favorite mom and pop shop around the corner from campus. Glazed with vanilla frosting and pink jimmies. They look like they should be invitation grams.

My stomach grumbles, but I've already had two. Fuel for tonight's study session.

"Oh, no way. I'll already be up all night with this sugar rush," I say, wedging my library card as a bookmark and finally slamming my textbook shut.

"Might be the three cups of coffee," Carter reminds me. "But I'm not sure. You do keep yawning an awful lot."

"It will hit me right when I hit my bed, just wait." I laugh.

I stand, shoving items back into my shoulder bag. Pen. Highlighter. Notepad with notes. Library card. Carter follows suit, packing up his own things.

"Perfect excuse to go out tonight then," Carter grins.

"Out?" I ask, mortified.

"It's Friday!" He reminds me, holding the door open.

"And that suddenly makes me a party animal? Come on," I laugh.

If you ask Nikki, it should. Then again, she's a party animal no matter what day of the week it is.

Carter and I descend the stairs, leaving the stifling confines of the clock tower behind. A group of drama thespians are reading lines in the lobby, rehearsing for the spring production of A Midsummer Night's Dream.

Carter pushes the library door open, and I double wrap my scarf as we plunge into the cold night.

"So, same time tomorrow?" Carter asks as we slope carefully down what used to be the library stairs. Now, it's more of a choppy dugout in the snow.

"Actually," I say, already sighing. "I'm going out."

"Out?" Carter asks, mildly impressed.

"Not my decision." I am quick to inform him. "Nikki's. I'm actively trying to come up with an excuse to ditch. Any ideas?"

"No, no excuses. You should go out." Carter nods appreciatively. He takes a big bite out of the last donut.

"I don't think I'm cut out for it. We'll see how well it goes."

I realize I am saying this out loud to Carter, but it's mainly for my own benefit. I've been internally hyperventilating ever since Nikki mentioned the party tomorrow. At least the mini dorm social was in my own hall and I could leave just by walking upstairs...

"Well, if you want my two cents, I think we need to get out more. Both of us," he laughs. "Get the full college experience."

"Do you want an invite to tomorrow?" I raise my eyebrow. "Strength in numbers."

"Course not. I'll be studying," Carter grins. "I am just saying it'd be nice to do more on the weekends than sit in the clock tower."

"Maybe..." I lose myself thinking about it.

I picture Shawn and I, hand in hand, going to parties and dances and hanging out with his popular jock friends. I think about Jake, about me being Tasha in the whole dorm room special situation. Maybe we could even go on a real date. Then of course, Gilded Rage pops into my mind, and I see myself as its number one groupie.

Suddenly Darren's GrindR problems seem favorable.

We part ways at the Fork, the intersection on campus where the cement walkway from the library branches off into paths leading to the SAC, East Hall, Greek Row, and the dorms.

"I'll see ya Monday in class!" Carter shouts.

"See ya!" My voice dissipates in the night.

I glance at the bulletin in the lounge on my way to my room. A slew of new announcements is hanging, the latest a poster for the spring play. There's also a sheet with baseball try-out dates, a catalogue of summer courses, and something about a campus carnival.

I make a mental note to tell Carter we can go to the play on a Saturday, to give us something to do on the weekend besides studying.

Lucy texts me asking to meet up for some late-night ice cream sundaes from the cafeteria, but I say no thanks. I've already filled up on donuts. Really, I think I'm just nervous about the party tomorrow...

🤍

How are you guys liking Sweetheart Single so far?? Don't forget to vote ⭐️ and comment!