Sweetheart Single

22 | Mix Tape Radio

8:07 AM

So much for sleeping in.

The first thing I see when I open my eyes is Tasha's empty bed. Honestly, why does she pay for on-campus housing? I've seen her maybe five times over that last two weeks. I plug in my phone on the charger and roll out of bed. I brew a coffee and gather my caddy for the shower. Maybe the answer to all my problems will come to me under the hot water. Maybe.

I don't blow dry my hair per my usual routine. I will have Nikki help me style it later. She loves to use me as her doll. Instead, I flip it into a wet messy bun for now and slip into my sweats and oversized hoodie. I check my phone for the first time since my shower and I see several missed messages.

DANCE 2NITE!!

C U at the dance <3

Elle, what's this I hear about a school dance? For Sweethearts?

Have u seen my eye shadow palette?

Darren. Shawn. Mom. Nikki.

I type out answers as fast as I can. Yes, Darren. Dance tonight. See you at the dance too, Shawn. Yes, mom. I did not tell you about it for a reason. The fact that she most likely heard from Mrs. Carr, who most likely heard from Shawn, is enough to induce vomiting. Nope. Why on earth would I have seen your eye shadow, Nikki? I toss my phone down onto the bed and groan.

The beads on my dress glimmer in the golden morning light filtering through my open curtain. The dress hangs in my closet, in plain view, a constant reminder of what's to come –of what I've gotten myself into –of what I need to face. Tonight.

My stomach grumbles. I know I'm hungry, but I cannot imagine eating food right now. Still, I try to pick at a brown sugar granola bar I pull from the makeshift pantry under my bed. Hopefully I can keep it down. This is not me. I do not lose sleep and appetite over boys! I lose sleep over reading more chapters than required or doing a week's worth of homework in one night!

Since there are no classes today, I decide to paint my toenails to distract myself from thinking about the Fig fiasco. Forget-me-not pink. The acrid smell invades my nostrils and helps blow my concentration for a few minutes, but it's nothing more than a temporary reprieve.

I open my laptop to search the college's homework website for new postings. Maybe writing a new essay or starting new chapters will help divert my attention from the trio of boys on my mind.

...

12:02 PM

I decide to take a page out of Nev's advice playbook. No, I'm not dating them all. But I did arrange to have a sort of mini speed-dating session. I texted Shawn, Harry, and Jake, and asked them each to meet me in the purple lounge at the SAC.

I decide I need to speak with each of them before the dance, to apologize for my behavior and to save face for them finding out the way they did last night.

So, at 1:15 PM I find myself walking into the SAC's second floor wi-fi lounge, which is littered with purple couches and home to Mix Tape Radio station. Even so, there's a lot less foot traffic here than the rest of the SAC. I find an empty couch pushed against the wall and set up camp.

Camp is just my phone and coffee and coat, and most of my dignity. But who is checking that? My eyes concentrate on the neon purple and green MTR sign hanging above the door at the end of the hallway.

Shawn is the first to arrive. I know he has afternoon training at 2:00, so I promised to be quick. But, as he smiles at me from across the lounge and hangs his head, I can already feel myself forgetting my rehearsal.