Sweetheart Single

01 | Goodbye Break

The hall light is creeping into my room. It's a perfect yellow frame in the doorway. My door is closed, but I can still smell the dinner mom is cooking wafting up from the kitchen. I lay my head back on the pillows and close my eyes.

I can't wait for school to start.

Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed winter break. I've enjoyed relaxing on the couch at my parents' house, all the home-cooked meals, and walking my golden retriever on strolls in the neighborhood –the holiday festivities and the cozy fireside snowfalls. Building snowmen in said snowfalls. I've enjoyed it all. But I enjoy school more. Well, I enjoy books. Reading, writing, and studying all kinds of books.

For as long as I can remember I've been into books –into school. I was never one to party in high school and I've never been into boys very much. I never wanted to lose my focus. I used to think maybe it would change when I went to college. But not so much. I'm a freshman and I dedicate most of my attention to schoolwork. And that's what I want to get back to.

To my mismatched dorm room and campus coffee shop. To waiting in line before morning classes and going over notes. To my friends and my routine schedule walking between buildings. To hanging in the courtyard on the main mall lawn. To color-coded outlines and casual ten-page essays. To new classes!

It's the last night of break. I'm packing my suitcase up now, collecting odds and ends from my bedroom. It's amazing how much everything has scattered over the last 3 weeks –how my old copy of The Great Gatsby made it under my bed –how my favorite purple fuzzy socks are now in my make up bag on my bathroom sink –how I can only seem to find one of my mittens!

"Honey!" My mom calls from downstairs. Her voice is muffled, and it sounds like she's still in the kitchen.

"Yea, mom?" I shout back, removing the scarf hanging on my doorknob and shoving it in my bag.

"Elle? Honey?"

"YES!" I shout, moving into the doorway so she can hear me properly.

"Don't forget. Dinner tonight with everyone before you leave." Mom appears in the gap of the railing at the foot of the stairs, both hands covered in her red and white oven-mitts. "One hour!"

"Right. Okay!" I nod. She smiles and walks back toward the kitchen.

Great.

The big dinner party with our next-door neighbors. Both neighbors. They're family friends and we've been having the same post-Holidays party for about 12 years now, ever since I was in kindergarten. The one couple –the Kims –they're great. They've lived next door since I can remember. They only had one daughter who was way older than me and I only ever met her twice. The other family –the Carrs –have two sons. Gerry is 15 and goes to my old high school. The other, Shawn, is 20 and only one school year older than me.

I will admit, my aversion to distractions aside, I had the biggest crush on Shawn growing up.

He was always the cool older boy with the popular friends, star of the football team –you know the type. He took me to my first school dance. Found out later his mom made him take me. Shawn also gave me my first kiss when I was 17. Yes, last year. I hope his mother didn't make him do that too.

I slide off my bed and stand in front of the mirror to make sure I'm presentable for dinner in an hour. Jeans, cable-knit sweater, blue light filtering glasses that are basically for show. Check. Check. Check. Oh, and cute booties. Check.

OK. I am ready to see Shawn one last time before he drives me (us) back to school. Did I forget to mention we attend the same college? Yup. To be honest, I'm nervous about seeing him.