Take A Slice

Difference between me and him

"Knight, you've been acting weird. Are you ok?"

...

I shouldn't have stayed up all night. But I couldn't sleep, at least with that in mind. I'm just exhausted. Exhausted and gross. I couldn't even cry anymore, it was just so tiring.

I got up from the bed and opened the window to light up the room a bit. The light stung me eyes a bit, but it was manageable compared to everything else.

I looked at the other side of the small bedroom to the armor stand. I could imagine myself in the armor, but the image couldn't arrive. I wasn't the person, at least not now.

"Knight." I whispered. It didn't feel right. I whispered again, "Knight." A deep shame filled my chest. Knight. It didn't exist anymore. I didn't deserve the name Knight. Not after everything I let happen. 'Knight' was a different person than me, I had to accept that.

It was like the armor came to life. It was Knight, the actual one. He looked happy, maybe even proud. Until he looked at me. His face contorted into a look of disgust and confusion. He didn't talk, but everything he thought was already. He was grossed out, maybe maybe even ashamed at me. I'd be gross out too. I'd be ashamed too.

But I couldn't bare to look at the taunting image anymore. I rubbed my eyes hoping my mind was playing tricks and he was gone. It was armor. Just armor. Knight was gone, maybe for good. I hoped for good.

I walked to the bathroom get ready. Take a shower, brush my teeth, do my hair, and wash my face to get rid of the tear stains. I opened the medicine cabinet. I took the medicine cabinet and hesitated. Was I really going to do this? I could still get clean and at least have that improved.

Who am I kidding? Knight could probably do that. In fact he did. I fucked up his life and he fixed it.

I grabbed the painkillers and took three. Then I closed the medicine cabinet, looking at myself in the mirror.

I looked at myself closely. But then the image started to warp into misshapen gory mess. Just like my dream. It became clear that Knight was reappearing in the mirror. He was no longer disgusted, but he was laughing. It was clear he was laughing at me. It was reasonable, he had a good life and I was just some... slut I guess. But then stopped laughing.

"Pathetic." His voice was croaky, like a a million beetles had a voice. But his voice still repeated in my head. "Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic." He was right. I was pathetic. He was so painfully right. I felt hot tears roll roll down my cheeks, but he told me things that I wanted to know. It's a painful relieving feeling I never knew I needed. I just looked down at my sink in shame.

His voice spoke up again. "You're so pathetic. Raped, really? Because l last time I checked you started to moan and even cried tears of pleasure. And you're just going to lie about rape. How pathetic."

I paused, my throat dry and my eyes still filled with tears. "Shut up." I whispered. But he didn't.

"Shut up." I spoke louder. I looked up and Knight looked smug as ever.

"SHUT UP." I rose my fist and punched the mirror, shattering it into little pieces. I looked at my hand, it was bleeding a lot and little pieces of mirror was stuck in some of the wounds. I open the now dented medicine cabinet and grabbed tweezers to pick off the larger pieces of glass. My breath was shakey and I picked off the large pieces and left them in the sink. I look down at my feet and they was bleeding too, not as badly, but bleeding. There as no mirror shards on them so I left it alone and left the bathroom.

I quickly put on my undergarments and armor so I wasn't late. Then I check the time. It was early. Very very early. I could start training early. I hadn't trained in a while.