Take A Slice

New Awakens

"..."

...

Did I live? Did my attempt not work? I open my eyes to see a bright white room. It hurt my eyes, but I still forced them open. It slowly registered where I was. I was in a hospital room. My eyes were blurry as ever, but I could tell that I was near a window of sorts. Or at least near a bright light. I tried to sit up, but I was quickly pushed back down by gravity. Great. I tried to move my head so I could at least see where I was a bit better, but that was no use. Was I paralyzed? Did I fuck up that much? My mouth felt dry like sand and I felt tired and filled with adrenaline at the same time. I would rather be rotting then have to live through this torture.

Then I felt someone touching me. I didn't want to be touched, I didn't want to be touched now, I want to go home or better go die. I shut my eyes waiting for the hands to do something horrible again. But it never came. Only a slight pinch on my arm then something wrapping it. I finally regained the confidence to open up my eyes again.

Everything was clear now. And a little less bright. I could finally sit up a bit. It was just a barren hospital room. I looked at my arm. It had an IV tube in it. I finally turned to look at the doctor who was checking something or something.

"The patient is in an unstable condition. He needs to be constant supervision."

I fell asleep again. It's too tiring to stay awake for long.

...

I wake up in the same room, feeling less tired. I shakily get up from the hospital my vision fuzzy and feeling a mixture of peace and dread. I guess there wasn't anything else to say. I was going to spend the rest of my time like this. The flatline of my heart monitor still rings my ears. I'm going to have to leave eventually. This place feels horrible. But again this is what I wanted I think. I'm not so sure now. 

I leave the hospital rather quickly to just walk around the busy area. It was early morning I think. I walk near my house before I died. There were people surrounding it and a news reporter talking about me. I guess it would come at no surprise that people are making my death into another spectacle to pretend to be sad about. That could seem cold, but I've seen it over and over again. Now I'm just stuck in that cycle. Just like the others I've seen.

I overheard the news reporter out of a bit of morbid curiosity. 

"He was found dead at the house. Police ruled that he had committed suicide via overdose. But according to family and people who were close with the Knight suspects foul play.." The New Reporter continued to talk, but I didn't linger longer. 

"Foul play?" So that's what people think? I dunno, maybe they would blame Pitaya from my "Murder" and he will finally get justice. Most likely not, but I would like to think so. 

I don't want to think about them too much. I don't want to think about any of this too much. 

I went inside my house. It was filled with police officers on the downstairs floor. I went up, where there wasn't anyone. 

Everything that was in my room was removed. All of my armor, pictures on the wall, small stuffed animals for Dragon's Tail, and things like that. Everything I loved was stuffed into boxes outside my room. 

I walked away from my room, but I stopped. Something was enticing me somewhere in the room. It was almost taunting.

I re-entered my room. Everything was back. It was like no one had touched it from the last time I saw it.

"What?" I whispered. I looked down at my hands. They weren't black and  transparent, they were normal. Was it just a dream? Did I not go through with this? 

I walked up to the bottle and poured out the pills in my hand. I guess I'll just do this again. 

But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I threw the pills across the room, sat down and cried. I want to wake up. I want to wake up. Iwant to wakeup. I to wake up. I wake up. Wakeup. 

...

I wake up in the hospital, feeling less tired. I shakily get up from the hospital my vision fuzzy and feeling pure dread. I look up. Am I alive? 

I take a breath. I'm alive. 

And for some reason, I'm relieved.