Wildflower (King!SteveRogers AU)

Chapter 31

WARNING! This chapter contains talks of miscarriage. Please do not read on if this will trigger you. 

**

It would become apparent that tensions had risen within the royal household over the course of the next week or so. And the gossips of court were out in full force.
Amberley had returned to the Queens chambers, keeping her distance from her husband except for court gatherings and other official business that both had to attend. Neither of them had said a word to one another. 

Now as she lay there looking away from Banner and her ladies, she felt numb on hearing his words. "I'm sorry your majesty...unfortunately it happens and we don't know why".

She did not turn to look at them. "Go give the news to the King..." her voice was quiet and she swallowed the lump that now was a permanent fixture in her throat. 

"I'll go". She heard Natasha say, "Kate, Wanda...be of comfort to her majesty until I get back". 

Their child had been lost, the only form of security she had felt for the last couple of weeks. Now that had been torn from her and all so suddenly. 

Why was she being punished? Was it for lack of empathy and love towards her husband? Was it because of the things that she had said, actions that she had done but yet could not recall? 

"Please...everyone leave...just go..." She sobbed quietly into the pillow, hearing the footsteps upon the floor until finally the door closed. 

Silence. 

It was scary but relieving at the same time. 

**

Natasha knocked on the door to the council chambers and walked in, not caring if she was interrupting a meeting - which she was. 

All the men's eyes looked to her as she looked at Steve who now rose. "What is it Lady Romanoff?" 

Her eyes told him all he needed to know, however her next words only confirmed it. 

"It's the Queen..." 

Steve stared at her for a moment. "Council is dismissed until further notice" and hurried out with Natasha following closely behind. 

Opening the door to his wife's chambers, he saw her alone in bed, back turned away from the doorway. He looked back at Natasha who shook her head and instantly knew what had happened. 

Once the door closed and they were alone he rounded the bed and came to kneel beside the side where his wife was facing. Her eyes were red from crying, and she did not look at him, instead staring vacantly at a spot to the side of him. "I'm sorry, I lost our child..."

He brushed some hair back from her face. "You are not to blame". 

"I am for everything else, if I had said or did things differently? Maybe I would not be punished like this..." 

"Amberley...it happens, you aren't being punished at all". 

There was a moment of silence that passed between them until she spoke again. "So why do you still insist on doing so by mourning a woman that you chose not to have?"

"What I said...I did not mean it - I was still trying to process what had happened. It was wrong of me to speak to you in that way, saying those words to you. But you were right, just like you always are. Unfortunately we're both too stubborn to admit when either of us is wrong, and this time I really was". He told her. "If this is anyone's fault, then it's mine". 

"I wanted so badly for this child to bring us back together..." She began to sob again.

Steve got up from where he was knelt and sat on the bed, now taking her into his arms while she cried into his chest. One hand stroked her hair, placing a kiss on her head. "More children will come". He soothed, keeping her close. "But for now we need to focus on us, especially helping you to recover". 

He was hurting too. He'd take the blame for causing her so much upset and for what? A woman who he knew he shouldn't even grieve. She was dead. Gone. That was the end of it. Amberley had been right. She was his wife, and he should count himself lucky that he had her as well as Phillip. 

Without her he would be lost

Without her he was nothing. 

"Amberley...I'm sorry". He whispered into her hair. "Can you ever forgive me for what I said?" 

She nodded against him. "I need you Steve, more than ever. But to feel like I am competing with a dead woman? I cannot be her". 

"I don't want you to be her. I want you for you, Amb". 

He didn't know how long he held her for but Yelena knocked on the door and announced that Banner was back to check how Amberley was fairing. 

"I'll leave". Steve got up but Amberley grabbed his hand. 

"Please". She pleaded. "Stay...I need you..." 

Keeping a hold of her hand he gave it a reassuring squeeze and then looked to Banner with a nod. "Carry on Banner".