After taking a few seconds to calm down, I began to explain what had happened since Max's "death". I told her about how the whole party had come to the hospital every day for a month, how Robin and Nancy had made homemade gifts for Max every month, how Lucas had pinned all her drawings on the hospital wall. I decided to not talk about myself. I shouldn't worry her with my problems.
"What about my mom? Is she ok? I know how expensive it must be to-"
"Susan is alright. I've been helping her," I was honestly glad Max had asked. I didn't have to lie to Susan now.
"What-" Max seemed to cut herself off before continuing. "What does she think happened to me?"
"I told her the truth. She knows what actually happened," I had told Susan about the Upside Down a few days after I met her. She deserved to know what really happened to her daughter.
"..." Again, Max opened her mouth to speak, but didn't actually say anything. A few seconds later, she responded. "What did you do? After I died, I mean."
Shit. I was hoping that she wouldn't ask about me. How could I tell her that I cut myself off from everyone, that I had spent months trying to get the image of Max's lifeless body out of my head. That I still saw that scene play out every time I closed my eyes.
"I... I got a job, helped your mom pay the bills." Max gave me a suspicious look. She could see that I wasn't telling the whole story.
"El, friends don't lie, remember? Something's wrong, I can tell. What is it?" I couldn't tell whether Max was angry or concerned, but it didn't matter. I couldn't lie to her, I knew that. I tried to contain my tears as I explained how I had been in the past six months. That's how it started out, at least. It felt like all of the emotions that I had kept bottled up for the past year were being poured out all at once. The bullying, the lab, the masacre, the earthquake, it all spilled out of my mouth uncontrollably.
"...and I know that I should go to someone for help, but Hopper says that I can't because they wouldn't believe me and I can't do this anymore!" I realized that I had been raising my voice and braced myself for whatever Max's response would be. She looked me in the eyes, but instead of the anger that I expected, she seemed sad, concerned. I was taken aback. People had been kind to me in the past, of course, but they seemed to get angry when I talked about my life.
"El... I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you. You didn't deserve any of that. You aren't a crybaby, and you definitely aren't a monster, ok? Whoever tells you otherwise is a piece of shit!" Max hugged me tighter and I fell into her arms, exhausted from crying.
"Thank you, Max." I managed to form a coherent sentence between sobs. "I'm sorry too."
"For what?" Max asked. I couldn't see her face, but I could tell she was confused.
"I couldn't save you. If I had held out for a few more seconds, you would have survived, but I wasn't strong enough."
"But you did save me. I'm still alive! I-"
Before Max could finish her sentence, my blindfold was ripped off.
