Author's Note- I redid the last chapter, so you should probably reread that before reading this if you saw it right after it came out. Also, I've noticed that I had forgotten trigger warnings for the story, so I wrote a general list in the introduction chapter. There are too many triggering themes in this to skip over them, so I thought maybe that would work.
"El? Can we... talk?" I turned around to see Mike standing nervously. "In private?
"Sure," I followed Mike into an empty classroom. I wonder what he wanted to tell me? My brain prepared for an argument, just in case.
"What is it?" I asked as he shut the door behind him. That made me uncomfortable. It was harder to stay calm in a closed room.
"Why didn't you talk to me over summer?" That was a strange question.
"I told you already," I said, a bit annoyed. "I was busy."
"Busy doing what, El? You can't be at your job all day!" Mike raised his voice. I obviously hadn't said what he wanted to hear.
"Helping Susan, moving back home-"
"And seeing Lucas, right? Don't lie to me, I saw you sneak off with him yesterday!" Mike yelled angrily. "You can't just ignore me for months! We're still dating, you know! You're supposed to spend time with your boyfriend!"
"Why?" I asked quietly. He hadn't told me that rule before. I just wanted to get away from him.
"Why what?"
"Why do I have to spend so much time with you?" I was getting angry too at this point.
"What do you mean? It's a thing girlfriends do, obviously!"
At that exact moment, something inside me just snapped. I felt more angry than I ever had been, and all of that anger was directed towards one person. Michael Wheeler.
"Then maybe I shouldn't be your girlfriend! There's nothing good that's happened because of it! You act like my entire life revolves around you when it doesn't!" I screamed. "My best friend almost died, Mike! I thought maybe you'd understand because, you know, Will, but you obviously don't! Do you even care about my feelings?"
Mike fell silent for a moment before speaking again. I braced myself. I didn't want to do this.
"You don't want to be my girlfriend?" Mike said softly. I shook my head. "Do you not appreciate everything I've done for you?" He continued to talk, but my brain kept repeating that sentence over and over. Everything he's done for me? I feel like I've done more than enough to make it up to him. He gave me a place to stay and kept me hidden from Dr. Brenner, and in return I have sacrificed my happiness and strength to keep him safe. What else could he possibly want from me?
After what felt like an eternity, he finally finished talking and barged out of the classroom, leaving me to eat my lunch in peace. The entire time, I was thinking about what Mike said, how angry he seemed. I felt kind of guilty for some reason, like I'd done something wrong. The longer I thought about it, the more unsure I felt. Was I ungrateful? Should I have just spent more time with Mike? I wasn't sure. I decided to ask Lucas later. Right now, it seemed like he was the only person who I hadn't hurt. Of course there was Dustin, but he and I weren't that close. He had been super obsessed with the Hellfire Club since Eddie died, and I wasn't really involved with the group. I'd tried playing DnD before, but it was difficult for me to understand and I ended up just quitting. While I was debating whether or not I should talk to Dustin sometime, the bell rang.
~Yet another time skip~
I walked out of the school and started making my way towards the bushes where Lucas and I were supposed to meet up before heading to the hospital. Lucas was already there, writing something in his journal. He turned around and waved at me, smiling. Then he noticed my expression.
"El, are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," I responded automatically. Wait, no, I wanted to tell him!
"Are you sure?" He asked. "You don't look ok."
"I didn't sleep last night," I still couldn't get myself to tell him what had happened. "Nightmare."
"Oh, um, ok," He stopped pushing the subject and tore a page out of his journal. "Hey, do you think you can bring things into the void with you?"
"Maybe, I'm not sure. Why, do you want me to give Max something?"
"Yeah, actually," Lucas seemed oddly nervous. He handed me the paper. "Can you read this to her? You know, when you see her?"
I nodded. Maybe I should read one of my letters to her too. I was a bit nervous to talk to her, honestly. What if my nightmare was right? What if she blames me? Lucas spoke and brought me back to reality.
"What was your nightmare about, El?" Oh, great. He knows, doesn't he.
