𝐒.𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐎 𝐎.𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒

06- Nick

Tw: Suicide // self harm // sexual assault
(I feel like he would so do this, and I guarantee you I cried making this part. This is Nick's pov.)

I remember the name of my best friend, Y/N. He was as perfect as can be, and I loved him. It was kind of like he was one if us, but wasn't at the same time. I liked Y/N for a long time, ever since we met and before that. I now realize though, that I should have spent more time with him then I did before. We started dating December 20th, 2021. It was lockdown.

We had stayed in lockdown together with my brothers, Matt and Chris. You might think that it would be chaotic, but it was a lovely time. We staying in and watched movies, all four of us. Sometimes our parents would join, but rarely. We had been watching The Outsiders, (1983). Y/N's favourite movie, I loved that movie because he loved that movie.

Even through everything, I was there for him, and he was there for me. Until, we started slowly drifting apart. He had moved back in with his friend, and we would barely talk. I would text him every single day while he would only answer about twice a week. His friend had bad internet, so it was hard for him to respond. Everytime we would talk, our bond would get stronger, as if that could ever happen.

I loved him, and I knew he was the one. One night, he came over because him and his friend had a fight. He stayed with us for a few days, and we still drifted apart. We still hung out, but I wasn't feeling like he was committing as much as I was to the relationship. We rarely talked, even though we were together the whole time. We didn't talk for a week until he came up to me while I was editing our Friday video. I saw him walk into the room and put my laptop down.

I took one look at his face and realized that something was definetly wrong with him. I put the laptop on the ground as he sat in between my legs. He had his head facing the ceiling and setting on my chest. "Is there something wrong?" I asked quietly. He stared emotionless at the ceiling for a second, before his straight lips turned into a frown. "No, I think we need to talk." He barely choked pit and I could understand what was about to happen, so I braced myself.

I nodded and he continued, "I was think last night when I couldn't sleep, and I think that, " He sat up, and turned towards me, grabbing my hands. "I think that maybe it would be better if we took a break." My breathing became sharp, and it hurt a lot to hear those words. I took my hands back, away from his; I began to think about it. I accepted it, and nodded. "I was thinking about something too."

He looked at me, fighting back tears. "I wanted to talk to you about you. You haven't been yourself since you left. We barely talked, and you were distancing yourself away from everyone. I want to know what happened." I looked him in the eye as he slowly broke down in tears. I looked at him, my heart absolutely broken after hearing the first few words come out of his mouth.

"He- uhm.." He gulped hard, and I could tell that this was serious. "He was always an alcholic, and the night I came here, he actually, he- he touched me." I could feel a mix of anger and sadness build up inside of me. "I've been.. c-" he wiped his eyes, "i've been selfharming in your bathroom. Chris knows, but I made him promise not to tell you, and you can't be mad at him. " I shook my head. This can't be happening, i didn't hear him right.

Were my immediete thoughts. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm Sorry.." He put his hands over his ears, and kept repeating the same two words. Until I grabbed his wrists and pulled him close, into an embrace. My own eyes started tearing up, I closed my eyes tightly and they flowed with tears. That's when I hear him sniffle. He sat up and wiped his eyes, "Can I use the restroom?" I nodded, and he ran to the bathroom.

The next few seconds were a blur to me. I could hear things, but I couldn't move. I heard the door close, and just a few seconds later, a drop. Something had dropped-- or someone. After regaining my ability to move, I ran towards to bathroom. Matt and Chris trying to get the door opened. I came and helped them, when we opened the door, they called for an ambulance.

I held Y/N in my arms, crying. "No, no, no. Please wake up. " I tapped his cheek, it was already getting cold, dispite it being hot in the bathroom. After a few minutes, the ambulance arrived and I passed out. I don't remember anything else, but I do remember Y/N. The boy who changed my life."

I closed my journal. My therapist recommended me to start writing, so I did.

We're back to matt. Remember to give some requests :]

word count: 903