The Weight of my Dreams

Chapter 23: L'amour que j'ai pour toi

"So how have you been? Like emotionally? Any family stuff?" Josh asked after a pretty lengthy conversation on my couch. "Yeah, actually I've been good. I didn't realize how much I needed a break, it was nice to see my family too. As far as family issues there hasn't really been anything and as far as my bio mom I haven't heard from her in a long time so that's been a blessing." I let out a dry chuckle hoping I hadnt jinxed it. "That's good love I'm glad but I am really glad that you're back." He said placing his hand on my thigh. "Oh, I meant to ask about the tour earlier, what's going on with that?" I said hoping I didn't sound too harsh about it, although I was not looking forward to being away from him again. "Um... we are leaving in a little under 6 months and will be touring for 8 months. However, we will have breaks every so often. The hardest part will be while we are in Europe, because I mean we can't exactly fly back for a few days." his eyes looked sad but I could tell how excited he was that it was happening. "That will be so fun though, I'm sure you guys are going to have so much fun." his eyes softened and he started rubbing my leg. "Thank you for the support mama, I wish you could come with us." My heart fluttered at the thought of touring the world with him, but I knew that couldn't happen for a few reasons, 1. I have to work and 2. I don't think that would go over too well with everything that happened with Sam. I snapped back from my thoughts and Josh was analyzing me, not just my face but every inch of my body. It went necessarily in a lustful way but more in appreciation.

I sat there letting him take everything in but I could feel my anxiety picking me apart. I tried to push it out of my head but the nagging persisted.

Josh stay quiet but moved closer moving his hand farther up my thigh and eventually up on my hip. "Hi, my love," I said quietly taking in the moment. "Hey" he smiled and then leaned in. I met him halfway, connecting our lips.

 I missed his lips, his touch, really I missed everything about him. I could feel the lust starting to take over both of us, every movement making the fire inside of us burn brighter. Our mouths moved in perfect rhythm like our own beautiful sheet music.

His hands moved under me and before I knew it he was picking me up and taking me back to my bedroom.

He set me down on the bed softly, laying my head down with care, but we never broke our kiss. He lay on top of me holding my face in one hand and holding up some of his body weight with the other.

After a little while, he finally broke the kiss and stood up. He watched me as he pulled his shirt off. Seeing his bare skin made me shiver, but I did the same. Once again I pushed away the insecurities and threw my shirt on the floor. His eyes widened at the sight of my almost bare chest. "You are so beautiful mama," he said laying down beside me. I was lucky that my room was poorly lit because my face was displaying a variety of red and pink tones on my cheeks and nose. He grabbed my hips pulling me on top of him. I straddled him and once again sunk into his kiss. I could feel him starting to mess with my bra but then he stopped, "Is this okay?" He questioned, I nodded in response. Within a second my bra was thrown onto the floor and my chest was left bare. The air against my skin sent goosebumps over my whole body.

We continued on and not a single part of each other went untouched and unkissed. It felt like hours of just utter appreciation. I have never felt so loved. The passion and the carefulness of his movements and the way he always made sure I was okay when we did something new. The time he took was serene, and I've never been happier.

We finished up and laid beside each other. We were out of breath and the room felt heavy from the events just moments before. I got up after a few minutes later to throw some water on my face to cool down. The tile on the bathroom floor felt colder than usual and my senses were heightened in every aspect. By the time josh and I were done the sun was completely down so the bathroom light made my head spin a little bit. I splashed some cold water on my face and brushed through my hair, as it had become a mess. I walked back out to see that josh hadnt gotten up to put any clothes on so I decided against the shorts that were placed on my dresser.

I crawled back into bed and took my place beside him. He pulled me in close and placed a kiss on my temple. I truly could not be happier, he makes me feel beautiful and seen all the time and it's amazing. The way he is passionate about things is inspiring. He's my person, hes my home.

Josh's POV:

Y/n got up and went into her bathroom I'm assuming to freshen up, I guess I'm left to myself, I thought and smiled. She really is gorgeous, I can tell she doesn't feel the same about herself though. I can see it in her eyes when I call her beautiful like she's trying to find what I see in her, but everything about her is breathtaking. I can see her mind work when we are talking and how it goes from thought to thought. I can't believe that she chose me.

I can't help but think of the things that happened before she left. I actually think about it all the time even though I try my best to remember that she's here with me now. I mean Sam has moved on so that kind of solidifies it.

Y/n walked back into the room so I pushed out my prior thoughts and focused on her silhouette as she got closer. She crawled right back into bed beside me and moved in close so that our legs were intertwined. This is where I was supposed to be, with her, always.

She is my home.