Right Where We Belong

Chapter 4 - Crazier

You showed me what living is for

I don't want to hide anymore

-Crazier, Taylor Swift

"Nina!" Ian was panting behind her. "Jeez. I've been calling you. You didn't even seem to hear me. What's wrong?"

I'm jealous! She screamed in her mind. "Nothing. I just don't like her for you, honestly."

"Oh? That's a first. If I remember it right, it was you who has always been telling me to look for a girl that I would really stick to. And now that I found her, you'd say that you don't like her? Really, Nina."

Because I was hoping that that girl would be me! She cried inside.

"Because I like those girls that you liked before. Nikki's just... different."

"Different. Well, you'll like her sooner." He smiled at her.

"I hope so, Herondale." She rolled her eyes at him.

"NINA! Why. Are. You. So. Stupid.?"  Julianne screamed – emphasizing each word.

"What? You'd do the same thing if you were on my shoes." She replied glumly.

"Well, thank heavens I'm not. Why are you torturing yourself Nins? Why don't you just tell him the truth?"

"I can't! It's not that easy. He only sees me as his younger sister. It's Impossible. It's hopeless!"

"How can you be so sure if you don't ask him? Just ask him out yourself and get it over and done with."

"Me? Ask him? Are you serious?" She gaped at her.

"Well, I usually am." Her stepsister grinned – a sign that she was only trying to make her laugh.

"Wait. On second thought, I think you have a point there." She suddenly saw a light bulb in her mind, teasing her to do something she never imagined she would do – not even in her wildest dreams.

"Yeah, a moot point. Don't bother think about it sis. I wasn't serious when I said that. We'll look for alternatives."

"But what if that's the only alternative? What if that's the only thing that I can do to know if he feels the same way?"

"Er... I'm not sure that's a good idea." Julianne looked bemused.

"The day after tomorrow's my birthday right?" She gleamed.

"Er... yes? Though I don't have the slightest idea how that would relate to this stupid plan of y... Wait. Oh my freaking gosh! You're not gonna tell him on that day, are you?"

Instead of answering, she just smiled.

"Nikolina, you're out of your mind!"

"I maybe am." She suddenly looked miserable. "Jules, you don't understand. You haven't felt this way before. But I have been for God-knows-how-long. Trust me, you wouldn't want to be put on a... situation like this. Selfish as it may sound, but I don't want him to have a happy ending with someone else."

"Oh, my poor sister." Jules stood up and hugged her. "Whatever you do, I'll be with you – if that'll make you happy."

"Thank you so much Jules. I really love you."

"Tomorrow's the big day, huh?" Ian said as a way of greeting her. They were on their way to school.

"Yeah. And I'm expecting you there."

"For Pete's sake, why would I miss such special event?"

"Good. 'Cause you'll be my last dance."

He abruptly stopped walking. "Wait, what?"

"My last dance." She shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal though her insides were churning. "Dad is going to be my first. Since I don't have a special someone yet, why not ask my best friend, right? Er, well that's if you're okay with that."

"Of course! It'd be my pleasure, madame." He faked an accent.

"Shut up." But she grinned. Step one: Invite him to the dance, done! Her inner dork was dancing with glee.

"Nins... I'll tell her." He suddenly sounded nervous and serious.

"Tell who what?" She was shocked by his sudden change of mood.

"Nikki."

"Oh," was all she managed to say.

"When you gave her the flowers, I know she knew it was me."

"You think so?" She tried to sound interested.

"I know it. She knows that you're my best friend. Besides, when you were in New York, We kinda... hooked-up."

"WHAT?" Her eyes grew thrice their original size. She couldn't believe it! Hooked-up? With Nikki?

"Yeah..." Ian laughed. "Unbelievable, right? I thought she really was out of my league. But we, uh, were not in touch for a couple of weeks. I understand I can't demand anything from her yet. So, I wanted to make it official."

But Nina understood none of his monologue. All she could hear was the shattering of her heart, like a 23-story glass-building that got hit by both Hulk and Godzilla at the same time.

"I can't believe you never told me anything!"

His smile faltered. "I... Nins. I really was planning to tell you. I just... I, uh, kinda forgot." He stammered.

She looked at him coldly. "It's okay. I understand. Actually, you don't have to tell me every single shit that would happen to you. It's not like I'm someone very important. After all, I'm just you're best friend."

"What? Nina, you know that's not true. Of course, I'm gonna tell you everything. How can I not? I was just... preoccupied at the moment."

"Preoccupied. Huh."

"Oh please, Nins, please don't tell me we're gonna fight over this."

It has been a long time since they had a fight. And it never was a serious one. It was only about whose idol was better; what movie to watch; what food to eat; and the likes.

"Of course we won't," her eyes began to water and her voice shook. "I won't argue with you over it. I'm just your bestfriend, why would I do such-"

She suddenly was wrapped around his arms. He couldn't bear to see her cry. The last time he saw her cry because of someone (they were on 5th grade that time when a guy put a chewing gum on Nina's hair that she had to cut her hair off), he broke that someone's face.

"I'm sorry. I'm being oversensitive." She sobbed. "I just can't bear the idea of losing you."

"And I can't bear to see you cry. You deserve nothing but to be happy." He kissed her forehead. "Besides, who told you that you will lose me? I'll still be here Nins. I'll always be your bestfriend."

"Promise?" She looked up at him.

"Promise. Now stop crying or we'll be late for school." He smiled as he put his arms around her.

Of course she couldn't lose him. He was never hers. But instead of saying anything, she just kept silent and followed him.