Confession ~Juuzou x Reader AU~

Chapter 23: The Deserving

~Juuzou's POV~

My eyes burn.

They always burn anymore. But I'm used to it now. In fact, if they're not burning, then I think something is wrong – that I'm not doing enough. Am I doing enough?

Twenty good boy points.

Hanbee keeps reassuring me. I guess he's kind of keeping me grounded. If he weren't here I'm sure I'd probably be floating away. I know it's because I'm tired. So tired.

But Key...

He's here in H/P. I don't know why. I don't know why he's back here or if he even ever left, but he is. And it's my job to get him. We have to. If we don't, he'll go free and if he goes free, there's a chance that more women will fall victim to him. And we can't let that happen.

"Sir," Hanbee says as he approaches. "We're ready. Waiting for your command."

This is it. This is the day. Today we'll get him. Today we'll make him pay. Today we'll make him answer for his crimes. That is what we're doing. Getting justice for all those women killed and all those kids. That's what we're doing.

I finish securing my uniform. "Alright. Good. Go ahead and tell the first unit to meet with the intelligence unit. Do not engage but do provide support if needed. Units two and three remain on standby."

"Yes, sir."

He leaves, closing the door behind himself. I am alone again. My heart is puttering. Just like it does before every mission. Partly out of excitement, partly out of anxiety. It used to be all pure adrenaline fed into by the glee of battle. But now...

I worry. I worry for Hanbee. I worry for my other men and women. I worry for any of the victims' families waiting for justice. I worry for any kids we may have missed who slid through the cracks.

Twenty good boy points, Rei.

I swallow. I worry about her – about them. Rui and Y/N. Right now, I know they're safe, being guarded by extra TSC personnel. She might not know that. I didn't want to scare her. Didn't want to tell her that Key is here. She's already scared enough. Both of them are. I didn't want to make that worse.

Should I have told her? Maybe. In the end, she has a right to know. The man who ordered to have her killed and her daughter kidnapped is here. That's a big deal. That said, there would have been a lot of panic and fear. Panic and fear that I can't stay and console.

But still...

I have to be here. I have to be doing this. Leading these men and women during this mission. That's my job.

Still, this ball of nerves knots my stomach. I'm anxious. There's no saying how this will go. There's never any saying how any of these will go. Missions are always unpredictable. It's just...this time, there is a delicate balance strung to this one.

Wanna see what twenty good boy points gets you?

Disconnect. I need to disconnect. I'm too involved with this case. I've been involved since the start. From the beginning, this case has been striking all the right...or wrong chords. It's stirred too many things – too many memories. And now, I need to distance myself. To disassociate. If I don't...

There's no saying what I'll do.

That's a lie. I know exactly what I'd do. It's not even a question. I'd kill them. All of them. Every ghoul partaking in this. I'd skin them, making sure to inflict as much pain as I can, getting the revenge for all those women and kids. Make sure they suffer as they made them suffer. Then, as for Key...

I should do the worst to him. I should bring as much pain as I can for him. Make him scream in agony. Torture him. But even if I did do that, that wouldn't be enough. Not for all the pain he's caused. No matter what I do to him, it would never be enough.

But I can't do that. Not because of morals. Not my own, anyway. The law and the morals of others are the only things keeping me from killing him. If it weren't for those shields...

I've killed other humans before. I had to. I was forced to, but if I had to kill him, it would be because I want to. He would deserve it.

He would deserve it.

**Hello, lovelies! So, a little Juuzou POV. Looks like the TSC is getting ready for a mission. Any idea how that'll go? Stay tuned to find out! It's such a pretty day. Blue skies and sunshine. I really feel the urge to go somewhere filled with nature. Maybe with a water scene. I don't know. I just feel I need that. But I hope y'all have a great day/night! If things are shitty right now, then I hope they improve! Thank you so much for everything! Wuv yous!! <3**

-Noel Ross

P.S. R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth II