Confession ~Juuzou x Reader AU~

Chapter 24: Inkling

I don't know why.

I don't understand it.

I don't get it.

This feeling. I've been feeling it all day. This overwhelming sense of something. But I don't know why.

Rui is playing with her toys, pretending her stuffed lion is some kind of knight saving her stuffed unicorn. I hear her. I see her. I watch. She is safe, not a trouble to be spoken about.

It has been like that since we woke up this morning. All is fine and grand. It's been a relatively peaceful day. Uneventful, even. I haven't even flipped on the TV to view the news or read any news articles.

And yet, I still feel it. This uneasiness swirling somewhere deep in my chest. It comes and goes in sporadic increments, almost like the waves that crash against gray rocks. It's bizarre and strange. And utterly illogical.

I've checked the door several times to assure it's locked. The blinds are almost completely drawn shut. They'd be all the way drawn had Rui not protested, so I have allowed her to keep a section open, though not by much, and she is to stay away from the window.

I don't know why I'm doing any of this. Well, the door is common sense, but the blinds? They've been opened before. Even after bringing Rui here. Hell, I had them wide open yesterday. But today... There's something about today that has me holding my breath.

Ridiculous, of course.

I exhale. I need to calm down. Maybe read a book until it's time to fix dinner. Or perhaps put on a movie and snuggle up with my Rui bug. Just do something aside from fidgeting and glancing at the door because eventually, Rui will pick up on my anxiety.

So, I try to read. I pull out The It Girl by Ruth Ware and start reading, but it's no good. My eyes keep finding their way over to the door. Repeatedly. Unyieldingly. Relentlessly.

So, I shift gears. I start to make dinner. It's five. That's an appropriate enough of a time for dinner. Right?

We're still staying at the hotel, so I don't have the same tools and setup as I did back home, but the bear minimum is better than nothing. A frozen dinner microwaved to life for each of us? That'll do. It's not difficult or mentally tasking, but it's something.

"Rui, dinner," I say, bringing Rui's food over to the little tray table I picked up at the store during Rui's stay at the hospital.

She drops her toys on the floor and skips over to me. "What's that?"

"Food."

"What kinda food?"

"The kind you put in your mouth and chew," I laugh. She giggles as I hoist her up and situate her at the tray. "It's chicken nuggets, mashed potatoes, and corn."

She examines the food and scrunches her face. "It's not yours."

I know what she means. Her statement, that is. I know what she's referring to. The food isn't my own cooking. The nuggests are soggy and the potatoes rather flat looking, but that's to be expected with some TV meals.

"I know," I say, "but look, the nuggets look like dinosaurs." She doesn't look amused, just apprehensive. I sigh, "I know, but Mommy can't really cook. All of our stuff is back home."

Her eyes widen. "H-home?"

"Yeah. Home. I couldn't bring all that stuff with me. But don't worry, we'll be back there before we know it."

This jolts her. "No!"

This startles me, but I quickly tend to her. "Rui, calm down. We can't be yelling. Now, what's wrong?"

Her eyes become glossy as crocodile tears bubble. Her bottom lip trembles. "M-Mommy...the bad men... They got us. They hurt you... A-and...they took me."

My heart shatters instantly.

She's not wrong. In fact, she's right. That is what happened. That's how we ended up here. And the look on her face - the fear in her eyes - is enough to take me back to that heart-wrenching moment.

I'll never forget that night, no matter what I do. Seeing those two ghouls. Watching as they creeped through my apartment. Feeling helpless as I was tossed and thrown. Then realizing Rui was gone.

My blood runs cold. I don't like revisiting that night. Recalling the pain and fear alone is bad enough but remembering that sudden shock that Rui was gone is enough to make me choke. That night, a piece of myself died. A chunk of my soul was severed, and even though she's back now, I know things will never be the same. Now, we are both branded with the mental scars left by those excruciating weeks apart - by all that uncertainty, and no amount of therapy or counseling or even medication can change that.

So I understand her apprehension. I get it. The thought of going back to the apartment still scares me, too. The whole time I was there was unnerving, especially when I was first released from the hospital.

I sigh, "Rui, we're not going home. Not right now. Juuzou has us staying here until the bad men are caught. All of them." I pull her close, holding her as reassuringly as I can. "Don't worry. He won't let anything bad happen. Not now. You're safe. The bad men won't get you. Juuzou won't let them."

She clutches the fabric of my shirt and buries her face against me, sniffling, "They're bad men, Mommy. They're bad men."

"I know baby. I know. They are bad men."

She is now on my lap, being cradled as I rock back and forth. I gingerly run my fingers through her hair as I whisper reassuring words, reminding her that she is safe. All the while, her little voice rings through my head.

They're bad men, Mommy. They're bad men.

And this sinking feeling falls to the pit of my stomach. These bad men... Not only did they take her away, but I'm almost certain that...

That the kids watched them kill those women.

**Hello, lovelies! Boy, what a day, and what a chapter. And look, Y/N has a theory that the kids might have seen some of the victims being murdered. Do you think she's onto something? Stay tuned to find out! So, at the time of typing this (08/20/2022), I am over summer. I'm over all this heat and humidity. Like, I'm sooo ready for autumn. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to wish my life away (and nor am I rushing to winter - another ew season) but I'm over this summer heat. But that's just me. Anyway, thank y'all so, so much for all the support! Wuv yous!! <3**

-Noel Ross

P.S. "Numb Little Bug" by Em Beihold