Because of Pride and Prejudice

Chapter 43

"Curiosity killed the cat," thought Jane as she stood outside her parents' house, her old childhood home. It was an old three-bedroom Craftsman house with a small fenced-in yard, and it was quite suffocating for six people to live in together. They were always in each other's faces and spaces. "And Mother was a billionaire all that time?" It was mind-boggling to Jane, and that was one of the many reasons why after vowing that she would never speak with her mother again, she was now here to speak with her. There were just too many questions she needed answers to. The money, yes, but also about her new-found relative and possibly relatives. There had never been anyone else to connect her to any kind of a past or culture or traditions. She had always felt that she wasn't grounded. No roots to secure her as she grew up. No source of nourishment to sustain her in times of trials and self-doubts. Now, she found that she did have roots, and she wanted to know everything about her family history.

Jane had called her brothers and sister immediately after finding out this news of a granduncle in Britain. She thought they would be just as shocked as she was, but they already knew about Uncle Ned as they called him. Mrs. Bennett had revealed everything to them soon after Darcie's wedding. Apparently, Lizzy, Mark, and Kit forgot all about Jane's misfortunes and focused on their own interest in finding out about Mrs. Bennett's secret British heritage. Mark had disclosed to Jane, "Yeah, we grilled her about this being British thing. She told us the whole story. It's a doozy. But sorry, I can't tell you more. Kit told me not to. He said that you need to get the story from Mum."

"Why can't you tell me?" Jane had asked, surprised. Mark was usually the easy mark. That's why she called him first.

"I'm not sure. He used a lot of psych jargon. I just remember Kit laying down the law with me and promising physical pain if I did. Sorry, Jane. But I'm glad we're on speaking terms again."

Jane tried everything she could to find out her family history without having to consult her mother, but the missing pieces and questions could only be answered by her. She desperately wanted to call her father, but she didn't want to risk having her mother pick up the phone. She then tried to get it out of Lizzy. "Lizzy, please just tell me. What is the big deal?"

"I just can't, Jane, as much as I would love to talk with you about it. You're going to have to talk with Mom. And do it soon, so we can finally talk about it!"

Jane finally pleaded with Kit, "Kit, why can't you tell me? Why do I have to speak with Mother?"

"Because it is the only way this impasse between you and Mom is going to end. You were the most affected out of all of us, and you've never fully gotten over this because I believe you've never fully forgiven her." He paused as he tapped his fingers on his chin. Jane appreciated how like a good clinician he paused to think of the best way to explain his point. Although his observational and note-taking skills at the wedding were disturbing, Jane now appreciated that they were the signs of the conscientious psychologist that he was becoming.

"When we went over to badger Mom about her British ancestry, she told us that her psychiatrist had recommended for a long time that she needed to tell all of us everything but most especially to you, Jane. But Mom never had the courage to do so as she was so ashamed and humiliated by what she had done. Now that we had her cornered, she had no choice. And as Mom slowly told us the truth about everything, you could see the weight lifting from her shoulders. None of us judged her and, of course, we all freely forgave her. I think she had an epiphany, Jane. I think she realizes now why you never forgave her. It's because she has never asked you for your forgiveness." Then, in another good therapist move, he paused again to let her mull over the significance of what he said.