xxii - booby traps

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— 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐛𝐲 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐬 —

"YEAH, I don't know." Erica says, climbing off of the ladder.

"You don't know if you can fit?" I ask her.

"Oh, I can fit. I just don't know if I want to."

"Are you claustrophobic?" Robin asks.

Erica chuckles.

"I don't have phobias."

"Okay, well, what's the problem?" Steve asks.

"The problem is, I still haven't heard what's in this for Erica." She says.

We sit her down at a booth, Dustin and I on either side of her, and Steve brings Erica heap loads of ice cream. Steve slides a boat of ice cream towards her and she slides it back.

"More fudge, please." She says.

Steve looks at the boat of ice cream for a moment, not wanting to service her any longer.

"Go on." Erica nudges him, waving her hand at him.

Steve tilts his head, staring at the boat of ice cream, then drags it towards him. He picks it up and then walks back to the counter.

"All right," Robin says, grabbing the blueprints, "You see this? This is the route you're gonna take. Then we just wait till the last delivery goes out tonight. Then you knock out the grate, jump down, open the door."

"Then you find out what's in those boxes?" Erica asks.

"Exactly." I say.

"And you say this guard is armed." Erica says.

"Yes, but he won't be there." Dustin says.

"And booby traps?" Erica asks.

"Booby traps?" Robin asks.

"Lasers, spikes in the wall?" Erica continues.

"What?" Robin says.

"You know what this half-baked plan of yours sounds like to me? Child endangerment." Erica says.

"We'll be in radio contact with you the whole time—" I say.

"Ah, ah, ah!" Erica says, cutting me off and raising a finger, "Child endangerment."

"Erica?" Dustin says, Erica turning to him, "Hi. Uh... We think these Russians was to do harm to our country. Great harm. Don't you love your country?"

"You can't spell 'America' without 'Erica'." She says.

She begins to slurp loudly on her float.

"Uh, yeah, yeah. Oddly, that's, uh, totally true." Dustin says, "So, so, don't do this for us. Do it for your country. Do it for your fellow man. Do this for America... Erica."

Erica stops slurping on her float and shakes her shoulders.

"Ooh! I just got the chills." She says, "Oh, yeah, from this float, not your speech."

Dustin shakes his head and I try to hold back a smile.

"You know what I love most about this country? Capitalism. Do you know what capitalism is?" Erica says.

"Yeah." We all say.

"It means this is a free market system. Which means people get paid for their services, depending on how valuable their contributions are. And it seems to me, my ability to fit into that little vent is very, very valuable to you all." Erica says, "So, you want my help? This USS Butterscotch better be the first of many. And I'm talking free ice cream... for life."

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