"Okay, guys shall we eat?" Nancy opens the picnic basket revealing two neatly bagged sandwiches, Nancy takes one of sandwiches handing it to robin and then taking one for herself.
"Well where is ours then?" I search the basket for more sandwiches
"The lunchables, why did you think we were buying those?" Nancy says tossing the bag of lunchables to us, i grab it then pull out the nacho one and then hand it over to will.A conversation starts as it usually dose, will is silent for a little while but then and robin burst into a conversation, full of laughter and good times i am sat, in the back just observing.
I observe will, his hair that is usually well kept is now messy around his face, the little sunlight coming from the trees, the sun light bounces off his face in such; a beautiful majestic way. I couldn't help but stare.
Admits my staring I began to think about the conversation we had in the bathroom that night the word gay still ringing through my head, just as confusing as the time it had popped into my head last.
I couldn't be gay, i like girls.
Food gets done fairly quickly well in reality it didn't but me zoning out helped time fly by.
"Guys, I have an idea, just trust me" my sister jumps up on to her feet, and gestures with Her hands for us to follow, we all slowly lift up to our feet and trail behind, we go through a small passage way through the thick trees.We make way to the edge, the said edge leading straight into a shallow pond below, i jump back away from the edge, making sure I am just a good safe distance away from the drop.
"Woah." Robin takes in the beautiful view and goes way to close to the edge for my comfort zone.
"What ever are we doing here?" Will ask feeling very confused, looking over the edge, and charming view, still once again way to close for my liking.
"We're going jump! Of course"
"What!?" We abrupt into different burst of confusion,"Listen, we wouldn't die, it's not even that far down it'll be fun!"
"Your going to do this fully clothed?" Robin asked; no way in hell would perfect preppy little Nancy first would even first of all suggest to jump of all cliff, let alone do it fully clothed."Yes? Of course I will." Nancy says this in full seriousness, stepping closer to the age, so close her foot was hanging a bit over the edge.
"No, what Nancy do not." She could get hurt, or worse she could die, maybe this Johnathan break is really taking a turn on her, but I was not just about to let my sister jump off a cliff, knowing she'd probably land the wrong way and break something or even drown, no way.Nancy takes a step backwards, dose a farewell sign with her hands, and then s begins falling down the edge, she was actually falling, hell she didn't even scream! I wanted to, seeing anyone fall that would borderline scare me.
Robin steps closer to the edge, takes a deep breath 'you can do this robin you can do this, no you can't, you can't do this, oh fuck it. She takes a leap of faith and falls, unlike Nancy she's screaming, screaming I say it sounded to her more like a squeal.
Will and I pass a glance, i did not want to go, nope actually no way in hell I could, I couldn't take a leap of faith once again, I was past that. Wills just standing in one place looking at the young boy with black curly hair, standing there like a statue he looked quite nervous.
"I can go first if you want, I'm fine with that." I suggest trying to calm the tension in the air,
"No! What I'll go are you kidding, I can do this" mike immediately buts in 'I've gotta be the strong man, I have to prove I'm no wimp.' I walk over to the edge as confidently as I possibly can.I get to the edge i stare down it to see, Robin and Nancy splashing each other down below me, the height seems to grow bigger, in my eyes, I feel so small and the drop feels so big.
The flashbacks starts; from that day ever so long ago, when I was standing on an edge, much like this, I jumped off for Dustin or well that's what I would like to think, I mean yeah I did jump off for Dustin I'd do anything for him.
But i wanted to jump, to end the god awful confusion and everything at the world, it was all of my fault, everything haha very typically of me to ruin everything.
My best friend was gone, a part of me was gone a part of me was broken, it still is broken, it's rotted over now, I've tried to fix it but i simply can not, no matter what I do no matter times I would've jumped the cliff it would've never changed the facts that I'm in love with my best friend.
I didn't know what it was back, well I sort of did but it never occurred to me just how different I am, everyone knows it, my mom knows it, my dad he's so distant but he knows it, Nancy knows it and that's why she's been so forward and distant I just know it.
"Mike, mike are you okay?" I feel a hand grab onto my mind and instantly recognize, the soft touch, I'm snapped out of my own mind as I lock my eyes onto his.
"I'm-im it's just the memories it's stupid," the brown haired fellow looks up to his friend, eyes lock, hands intertwined,
"It's not stupid, your not stupid, nothing stupid." This makes me smile, how could I think about anything besides the pretty boy standing before me."We could jump together if you want."
(I hope you guys like the new format of writing I'm using !!)
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