Let me ask you a question. Have you ever felt that the people you love have all grown and you're still stuck in the same place with no way to move?
I know, that's a lot. But that's what it feels like. I can't think of another way to explain it.
The worst thing is you can't do anything but be happy towards those people you love. Because the thing is, you love them. You want the best for them and if you can't always protect them at least you can be their ultimate support.
But it's ok, it's ok. You can do it because mom didn't raise no pussy. I am a strong person. I've proven that multiple times. Multiple. That's how fucked up I became. That's how depressing, filled with anxiety, PTSD following me everywhere kind of shithole I'm stuck in. But it's fine, it's no big deal. All I gotta do is "forget about it", "move on'', that's what my mom said to do. So that's all you gotta do you weirdo. It's been like seven years god damn it.
...
Huh, yeah that's actually probably true. If only I could just tell my brain, "Hey you know all that shit you went through your whole childhood, yeah, so, that's all bull. So just like throw out all those memories and get back to manual functions". Oh, and while I'm at it, I'll tell my traumatized body to take back all the scars and tell it to heel, tell to be comfortable around people, to not shake when people hug you or touch you, to not sweat, to not go into overdrive and just want to run away to your room where you're sure you're safe", yeah I think I'll tell it that.
What use am I if I can't be the way the world wants me? No wait I shouldn't bring the world into this. We fucked up the world. My parents are right, god damn it, they always are. Listen to your parents, right? They know what's right for you.
...
The biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard but ok.
But you know I might just complain because they might actually be right. Like, I mean, this is what's holding me right here in my little spot. The spot I can't move from because of how I am right now.
But I mean sorry my parents, that's just me. That's just how I am, this is how I turned out from being raised by you. So, it's not my fault.
But that's just me thinking in my head. My parents will never know all this. All my thoughts, what I'm gonna do. What I'm planning to do with my life. The road I'm going to take. They won't know because that's how I like it.
So, I guess I kind of explained
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HI, if ur reading this just know it's all fiction.
YOU ARE READING
Small Feelings
Teen FictionSometimes I feel alone. All I want to do is scream. To know that there is someone that feels the same as me. But there never is, there never was. ... Until you...
