Small Feelings

Chapter 3

What the fuck was that! I just met this guy like today, and we kissed, what the fuck Axelle! You have a crush, for gods sake.

That's not even the least of your worries your parents just died. But I can't feel anything. I can't cry, morn them, I just feel empty for them. Why?
Why?

I looked around my so-called room again. Today was so crazy. All of this is crazy. Never had I imagine this would happen to me, so why.

Suddenly my phone started to ring. I went to go get it from my bag. It was my tia.

"Hey tia, how are you?" I asked.

"Hi sweetie, I could be doing better. But that's not why I called. Are you ok, how's the places with the Stones?" She asked with shaky breaths in between.

"Honestly, it's not bad. They gave me my own room. It's really pretty with an amazing view of the woods. Definitely checking that out tomorrow." I said, trying to sound ok.

"That's good, sweetie, that's very good," she said back.

"Where are you?" I asked

"I'm at my boyfriends, listen I just wanted to make sure you were alright. If you ever need anything, I'll be one call away, okay, sweetie?," she told me with worry in her voice.

"I'm okay, tia, I promise, I'll be okay, I have to go, I'll talk to you tomorrow, bye, tia, love you."

"Love you, sweetie." I ended the call and went to the bathroom. I twisted the door knob just to make sure it wasn't locked and Jax wasn't in there. Luckily, it was unlocked.

I got my bags and started to unpack all my hygiene stuff. I wanted to distract myself. I'm scared that if I stop and let myself process this day, I'll end up going crazy.

My phone started to ring, I went to check who it was and saw it was Lucy, my savior. I answered right away.

"Axe, I just heard, I'm so sorry, baby, how are you holding up?" Lucy said in a hurry.

Lucy was the one person in the world who knew everything about me. She knew my parents, my life, what I've gone through, everything. And I knew her just the same. We were two peas in a pot.

"Yeah, well as you would expect, I think I'm okay, but I don't know Luc, I feel numb."

"And how's the new house with the Stones and Jackson?"

"It's pretty nice, I live in a victorian house now, isn't that crazy?"

"Whaaat! My fucking dream girl, uuuughh so jealous!"

"Yeah I bet you are. On the bright side, we are officially having sleepovers, I don't think I'll survive being here without you."

"Oh yes, the he'll we are, you can not survive anywhere without me precious bestie of mine"

"Okay, okay, partner in crime of mine, I want to take a shower and go to sleep, I love you, talk to you tomorrow, goodnight."

"Okie, goodnight, I love you-Wait! You still picking me up tomorrow for school?"

"You bet your pretty face I am"

"Axe?"

"Yeah? Luc."

"Feeling numb is normal, and I get what you mean."

"I know, I know you do. You always do, bye."

"See you tomorrow." She said and then ended the call.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Lucy has a way of making me feel like everything's alright, that everything is fine and normal, and I love her for it.