Small Feelings

Chapter 4

When I woke up it was 6:30 am. Fuck I'm going to be late! I quickly got up and grabbed a change of clothes. I went to the bathroom to quickly wash my face and brush my teeth. I grabbed my toothbrush and sat on the floor. All while trying not to look in the mirror.

I can't believe she's back. I thought I was over that part of my life. I thought she would never come back.

She's what resulted all those years of torture and abuse. A part of me I grew to hate. I wasn't able to handle her, wasn't able to accept she was a part of me. So yeah, she was right, she is me, she used to be a very dominant part of me. My parents created her, but they couldn't handle her, control her so they destroyed her. Or at least that's what I thought.

My parents were very wierd people and I mean WIERD. Not only were they psychos who enjoyed putting their daughter through torture, they performed creepy rituals on me. That's how they claimed to have destroyed that other part of me. I honestly don't remember much of what happened. Only that there was a weird purple light and that I felt very light, like I was floating. By the time I woke up, I was in my room with her nowhere to be seen. I felt like a different person, an emptier person.

My parents started to distance themselves from me, more than they had already been. Leaving only money on the counter. For years, they couldn't leave me alone. It was like they haunted me, following me, and watching my every move, but after that, it was as if they didn't exist.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear Jax come into the bathroom.

"Good morning, sleepy head," He said in a deep voice one gets when they just wake up.

"(Gasp) Jesus Jax, don't sneak up on me like that," I said, looking up at him. He was shirtless with sweats loosely hanging on his waist, his toned body out on display. I couldn't stop looking at him, he looked so good.

"-and I should be calling you sleepy head," I said, looking at how sleepy his eyes looked.

"What're you doing sitting on the floor? Find something interesting down there?" He said as he took put toothpaste on his toothbrush and sat down next to me.

"Oh, you know, just enjoying the feel of cold tile on my ass."

"Not get much sleep last night. If you don't like the bed, I can get you a new one. Just say the word, " He said as he turned to look at me.

"No, the bed is fine-Hey, so this isn't any of my business, but, um... I heard noises from your room last night," I said, trying not to feel embarrassed.

"Oh yeah? What about them?," he said, raising an eyebrow at me.

"I mean what you do and whom you do is truly none of my business-" I started to say as he cut me off.

"Whom I do?" He laughed.
Damn his laugh is attractive.

"Um... yeah..just-could you try not to be so loud...please. Some of us don't want to hear that." I said, now staring right at him.

"Ok, I'll try, buuut I can't really promise about the other person," he said, looking at me with a hint of surprise.

We stared at each other for what felt like minutes. Until I broke the silence.

"What?" I questioned.

"What?" He said back.

"Why are you looking at me like that. You surprised I'm not going to rat on you or you surprised I'm not telling you not to have sex in your room?" I asked a little intrigued.

"No, just didn't expect you to be so cool with it, that's all," He said with a smirk as he stood up, finishing brushing his teeth.

"Well, like I said, none of my business, as long as I don't have to hear it." I said as I also got up and rinsed my toothbrush and washed my face.