Pure madness (country oneshots) (read at your own risk)

🌙𝙍𝙚𝙨𝙩🌙 (Poland x Hungary)

This OS is nothing but self indulgent bullshit, so it's kinda messy. Not beta read bc I don't feel like pushing my depressing ass polhun agenda on anyone rn😳

If you don't like angst please don't read this. It has a bittersweet ending so it's not that bad though, but still, better safe than sorry. Also tw for major character death and war setting.

☆ﾟ+｡★｡+ﾟ☆ﾟ+｡★｡+ﾟ☆ﾟ+｡★

Hungary opened his swollen and tired eyes, staring up at the ceiling in the comfort of his silent room. Making sure he didn't put any pressure on his aching muscles he shifted into a sitting position slowly, the covers slipping from his frame. He swallowed the saliva gathering in his mouth, being careful as he climbed out of bed to spare his fresh wounds and scars on his body. He was in a lot of pain. Everything hurt. He was shot twice in his stomach. He ran to a ticking bomb to save one of his allies. He was ran over by a group of soldiers trying to escape the battlefield, being trampled on carelessly. A German soldier found him lying in the mud like a dead animal, whining and whimpering to be saved.

He was carried to a bunker to get treated before finally being sent home to get treated by his own people there. He was still in agony though, no matter all the efforts of the medics and doctors. Hungary's left arm felt completely limp and his back was covered in a nasty burn scar. Yes, he was in a lot of pain, but all the physical pain couldn't compare to the pain he felt inside. Hungary received the news a few days ago, not at all expecting anything when a lieutenant came into his room with the mail. Nothing was out of the ordinary other than the pity and apologetic glint in the others eyes. Hungary was about to question until he saw a letter that was sent from a Polish address, along with a little package that looked all tattered and old, but still intact. He ripped the letter open and the lieutenant left to give him some time alone. He feared the worst, his hands shaking and heart clenching as he read through the letter once.. then twice.. reading over it again and again. It couldn't be true.

My dearest Hungary,

I can only pray you won't ever have to read this letter. This unfortunately is my very last letter to you, since this writing means I have passed away. As I am writing my thoughts down, I can't help but think of your beautiful smile which never fails to brighten my day, even in such scary and dark times. There is no doubt that even in my last seconds I imagined you and I being together one last time. I often wake up late at night from the nightmares plaguing my mind, and it is the thought of your gentle hands caressing me that lulls me back to sleep. My brain is filled with you, with your voice, with memories of you with me...

Because you, my dearest Hungary, are the most important person in my world. One day we will be together again, i promise you this. This might come as a surprise to you, kochaine, but I've been planning our future together. I imagine us living together in our own little home with as many puppies you want. I imagine us raising our children together. Us growing old in each other's company. I hope you can forgive me for not telling you sooner, and I hope you will forgive me for being too much of a coward to tell you sooner.

Before we can start our lives together it's only fair we officially belong to each other, at least I think so. You received a package with this letter, I hope you weren't impatient and read the letter first or else the surprise is ruined.

The package contains a little box with our engagement ring inside. You must hate me for not telling you sooner, since I've honestly had the ring for almost two years now, but I hope you'll have forgiven me once we meet again. I cannot really ask you to marry me now, but if you wish you could keep it.

I love you so much, my dear Hungary. Kocham cię.

Yours faithfully,
Polska

Hungary bit his tongue and held his tears back the best he could, reaching to the package to open it with clumsy and impatient hands, weaker than usual. He managed to rip the entire packaging off the handcrafted wooden box, lifting the lid as he exhaled shakily. He reached inside for the silver band with little stones imbedded into the middle, breaking down into sobs at the small object.

Hungary shuffled to his desk, lowering himself on the creaking wooden chair slowly. He felt weak and exhausted, understandably so. He looked around in his drawers to search for his fiancé's old letters, his expression undeniably the one of pain and deep sorrow. Placing a neat stack of old letters on the desk he took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms. He let out a tired sigh before lightning a few of the candles on his desk with a match, reaching for the first letter after he was done. Hungary was no idiot, he knew he didn't have long to live anymore, and if his beloved spent his last few moments fighting for him and thinking of him, he would honor his lover by doing the same. He scanned over the neatly written letters, admiring Polands effortlessly beautiful handwriting. Hungary's calligraphy was quite the opposite, he always rushed to write down his thoughts, as if he was spitting out every single word the moment it came to mind. Poland never mentioned whenever he found minor mistakes in the letters he got, cherishing them despite their flaws. Just like how he cherished Hungary, despite all his flaws. The Hungarian grabbed his fountain pen and a piece of scrap paper laying around, thinking for a few moments before beginning to write his response.

This time he decided to think before spilling his thoughts onto paper, collecting his thoughts of what he wanted to tell his lover. Hungary raised his hand to the piece of paper, letting his fingers glide across the page one final time.

Dear Poland,

You know I've always been dreading this day, fearing you would leave me for good. I could have never thought this day would come so soon. Your absence leaves an empty hole in my heart. I miss you more than anything already, I have been since the last time we met.

Although you might not roam this earth anymore, know that my heart will always belong to you. Thinking back on the night we met for the very first time makes me laugh from the absurdity. We started off as nothing but strangers, but became friends in the span of a few hours. Do you remember how everyone was suspecting there to be something more between us, and how we just brushed it off and laughed at their silly accusations? I felt that this might be something deeper than just a friendship from the very beginning, I was just too young and inexperienced to know what I was really feeling. I can still see the loving smile you gave me after I told you how scared I was of my feelings. To this day I can still feel your warm hands holding mine as you assured me with your kind words. You told me to stop worrying so much and that you'd always stay with me, forever and always.

Oh if only you knew of all the things I would do to feel your lips on mine one more time. I know soon I'll be with you, I can feel your presence closer with every passing minute. Once we're together again we can finally rest and be ourselves with no more fear, no more uncertainty. Maybe then we can live the life you've planned for us.

I love you with my entire heart, and I hope I'll be forgiven for not letting you know that enough times.

Yours truly,
Your husband

Hungary swallowed weakly and bent over his desk, letting his tears wet the paper and smudging the ink. He whined quietly and turned his head to the bed behind himself. His entire body was aching, his muscles were screaming for him to lay back into bed as he rose up from his seat. Hungary ignored the pain shooting through his body, looking down at his letter with a pained smile. He was in so much agony, if he didn't die this instant he would definitely at least pass out from his pain. A quiet grunt slipped from his lips as he stepped backwards, falling back onto the bed. Despite his head feeling dizzy and his body weaker than ever he managed to climb into the middle of the bed, allowing himself to close his eyes and rest a bit.

After a few minutes he began waking up from his sleep, cuddling up to the warm body laying next to him, "You deserve to rest now kochaine.."