#TejRan: Angsty Shots

Jealousy - Part 5

Karan was blank. Blank.
What went on in his mind hearing Teja.. What he wanted to tell her.. What he should do, shouldn't do.. He didn't know. His mind was out of order now.

So he shut off his mind. And decided to do what his heart said.
He decided to do, what he wanted.. Without any further delays.

He put his legs up on the bed and laid down beside her.

Sliding his right hand under her head, he kept his left hand on her stomach, spooning her.

Teja opened her eyes and enquired as to what was he doing..

"Ssshhhh.. Shh. Gussa hai, hurt hai, disappointed hai jo bhi hai.. Lets put a pause..? Please?" he said in the softest tone possible.

She looked into his eyes. They were glistening with tears. And he was controlling it really really badly.

As much as she was done with this situation between them.. This was too heavy for her. She didn't say anything further and turned back again, leaning on his arm. Karan kept patting her head from time to time to help her sleep and soon she dozed off.

When he is realised Teja is sleeping.. He leaned in to see her face properly and kissed her hair. It had been just two days that she had been this close to him.. Yet she was so far. So so far.

Karan couldn't control himself any further and finally shed his tears.

He loved this woman. He loved her more than he could ever imagine. They've had numerous fights till now. It was legit normalised now. Yet this was one of those times where he felt his heart pop out of his chest.. Coz he thought he could lose her. And boy, that was the most terrifying feeling in the world for him!

He didn't know how to express it to her that he never wanted any break. He didn't know how to tell her her that when she came to his house today, that was the happiest he had been since that party.  He didn't know how to tell her that.. He was miffed when she categorised herself as a nobody to him when she said "Mai kaun hoti hu..".
He didn't know how to tell her that he felt like murdering Nishant as he took his Laddoo's attention. He didn't know how to tell her how it felt seeing those eyes.. Filled with hurt and disappointment after she answered Rajiv. He didn't know how to tell her that his heart collapsed & came out of his chest when he saw her foot covered in blood. He didn't know how to tell her how worried and mortified he was to see her wince in pain when her dressing was being done.
And he surely didn't how to convey to her about the knot in his stomach when she accused him of not really wanting to be with her during this injury, when all he wanted to do was engulf her in bone crashing hug and protect his princess from all the evil in the world.

How to tell her that he loves her so immensely that it physically pains him when she is not around him. How to tell her that he could slice every goddamn head in this world to save her from getting hurt. No. He didn't enjoy seeing her hurt. He could never. Especially if the reason is him.

How to apologize to someone when you see them affected coz of you, when you yourself are hurting badly by their actions.. How?

Immersed in his feelings he didn't realise that almost 2 hours had passed and Rajiv was tapping his shoulder asking him to come out to the living room.

"Aake dinner toh karle Kundrra?" Rajiv said in a hushed voice.

Karan shook his head in a no.
"Teju ke saath hi karunga.. Tumlog khaalo." he said.

"Acha fine but bahar toh aaja? So rahi hai vo.. use thodi pata hai tu paas hai uske?" Rajiv spoke hushly again.

Karan looked at her sleeping face and smiled sadly.