LIFE SCREWED ME OVER

Why

 So I did go on a date with Bryan. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, we went to a small diner down he street from the coffee shop after work. After eating we went for a walk around the park . He was really easy to talk to and was really funny, he had me laughing the whole time. And then he walked me to my apartment. That's another thing that's actually going good for me ,I finally saved up enough money to put down a deposit on an apartment so I'm not in the room in the back of the coffee shop anymore. All was going great , I was even going on dates more frequently with Bryan. I was building up a friendship with Drake but for some strange reason every time I brought the fact that i was going on another date with Bryan he would just close up and make up some lame excuse that he had to go somewhere. I really don't know why , I think I'll ask him about it some time . Today was like any other, I came to work at 5:00 a.m. and it was all good until like two hours before my shift was over ,  I started feeling really light headed and my stomach started churning. I knew what was coming so i stopped what i was doing and ran to the restroom and puked everything I had eaten that day. Darlene ,my boss, came in and asked me if I was OK . 

"I'm fine. Thanks."

"You can take the rest of the day off , if you're not feeling well ."

"Thanks, I think I will."

"You might want to buy a pregnancy test on your way home too. I've gone through it twice i know how it is." Darlene spoke with such certainly that I almost believed her ,but it had to be impossible. Me and Bryan haven't done anything , the only possibility would be those monsters that I thought I had finally left behind. But of course I've been screwed over again .

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Well I did as Darlene told me to, on my way home I had bought three pregnancy tests. I was really scared. What if Darlene was right, what if i was pregnant? I don't know what i would do! I can barely take care of myself let alone a baby! my apartment isn't fit for a child, my apartment is so small . My living room is also my bedroom, my bed pulls out form the wall and my kitchen, if you can even call it that, is just some counter space with a sink and an empty refrigerator and a small bathroom . I can barely fit into this apartment how is a baby going to fit into this place!? And the fact that the baby would be the fruit of rape committed by both my father and brother would be absurd. I can't have an abortion, it's not the baby's fault. I will not kill an innocent child, if I am pregnant I'm just getting ahead of myself, I haven't even actually taken the tests. I may not even be pregnant.

"Here goes nothing." I mutter to myself.

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A.N.

I'm sooooooo sorry i haven't updated in soooooooooo long. I'm not very good at writing so sorry if this sucks :/