Ain't That a Kick in The Head?

6: Spoiled, Rotten Princes

the words of the day are: eccentric and demisexual

At eight o'clock the next morning, everyone stands at the gates ready to depart the village. Sasuke is honestly shocked that Kakashi showed up on time.

Sasuke yawns.

He didn't have the most restful night last night. Since ya know, the Uchiha district is literally falling apart. He estimates that he only got about four hours of sleep, until it was interrupted by the floor collapsing in on itself beneath him. He spent the rest of the night fantasizing about the excruciating, fiery deaths of the elders.

He blinks, rubs the gunk away from his eye and yawns again. He feels the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Naruto is in his personal space again.

"Hey Sasuke," he says, and Sasuke reflexively takes a step back, "D'you know what's taking them so long?"

"Hn," he looks over to where Naruto gestures with his head.

He hears the echoes of shouting from where Umeko, her father, and her bodyguard stand inside the village still in a huddle next to several chests. Umeko fans herself so hard they can feel the breeze standing several meters away, and gives a death glare to her father. Kazuhiko moves to pick up one of the chests but Hajime smacks his hands away.

"She definitely brought too much stuff," Sakura says from behind him. She moves to stand beside Sasuke.

"Hn," Sasuke eyes the Mochizukis with distaste as they physically tug a wooden chest back and forth between them. It breaks away from both father and daughter and lands on the ground with an emphatic thud. The lid pops open too, and several brightly colored kimonos pop out and fall out into the dirt. Umeko squawks angrily and snaps her fan shut, then smacks Kazuhiko on the wrist. He starts shoving her kimonos back into the chest.

Next to them, Kakashi sighs wearily. "I'll take care of this."

He strides towards them with a cool air of nonchalance, or more accurately, an air of a man who's long accustomed to handling stupid, petty bullshit. He says something to Umeko and her father and the disagreeable looks are wiped from their faces. Kakashi unrolls a scroll and places a hand on the chest. It disappears in a puff of smoke. He does the same for her other chests, then hands the storage scroll to Kazuhiko.

"Now, shall we head off?"

*

It's the middle of the day, and they've finally successfully managed to make it out of the village.

The sun beats down on Sasuke's forehead and he feels a drop of sweat slide down his face.

They walk in a tight formation, with Umeko, her bodyguard, and her father in the middle. Naruto and Sasuke are in the front, Sai and Sakura flank on the left and right respectively, and Kakashi and Yamato take the back. The road out in front of them is empty of civilians and has been for miles. The lush, dark forests surrounding them are silent, except for the chirps and titters of the birds hidden in the tree branches.

Naruto keeps trying to talk to him, and Sasuke keeps trying to tune him out. Currently, he's trying to play catch up on every mundane, mind numbingly boring mission Sasuke's glad to have missed.

"And then there was this talking ostrich... he was such a dick!-- Sasuke, are you even listening to me?"

"It's literally impossible not to," says Sasuke. Sure, he is kind of interested, on the merits of the story being about a talking ostrich. Who the fuck would have thought that this specific ostrich is the same ostrich that mauled him when he had to wrangle it as a snot-nosed twelve year old?