Sincerely, Elena

Epilogue

Dante

I couldn't help but smile foolishly as I read the elegant words written in her letter. The little curves and loops in her g's and t's, the soft lines of every word combined, and the immaculate penmanship of Elena. How could I ignore them when her letter was the only thing that connected me to her? 

It's been three years, thirty- six weeks, and one thousand and ninety-seven days since I had been left in the Philippines. This letter was the only thing that I had of hers, personally, while I was a million miles away from her. 

I missed her so much in all of those times I was away with her. My chest could barely breathe freely every time I opened my eyes to a new day of unfamiliarity without her. 

Despite the years that had passed by, my feelings never changed. She was still the same in my mind. The same Elena that I had come to love and the same woman that had become the place of my comfort. Tang-ina, sino ba ang hindi masasanay sa palaging reviewer at pa-homework ng teacher ko.  To make it worst, nasanay akong nakikita siya parati at naririnig palagi.

Subalit, ngayon . . . tanging ang sulat lamang niya ang mayroon ako upang maalala muli ang kaniyang boses, ngiti, at titig na naging kanlungan ko. 

Because of this, I couldn't help but to open her letter again. Even if I had read it a million times, I would never get tired of reading it, along with her voice I still remebered. Punyeta, kahit abutin pa nga ata nang gazillion years, hinding-hindi ako mapapagod na marinig muli ang boses ni Elena. 

Sa aking pagbukas sa luma at lukot-lukot na papel, kusang napakurba ang aking labi sa ngiti . . . 

My dearest Dante,

I never thought na magsusulat ka sa akin ng letter. Hindi ko akalain na gagawin mo ito. I hope na matanggap mo itong sulat na ito kapag nakarating ka na sa States. Marami akong gustong sabihin sa iyo na hindi ko masabi ng personal. Una sa lahat, I wanted to thank you. I want to thank you for loving a girl like me. Alam ko kung gaano kahirap akong intindihin at unawain and I wanted to thank you for understanding a girl like me.

Hindi mo alam kung gaano ako nagpapasalamat sa Diyos na nakilala kita. Ikaw ang regalong natanggap ko na hindi ko hinihiling. Noong namatay ang mga magulang ko, tanging si Nanay Aning at si Melai lang ang malapit sa aking buhay. Pero nagbago ang lahat noon simula kitang makilala. You were the guy I never thought would turn my life upside down in an instant. Ang akala ko noong una, katulad ka lang ng iba, who sees me as what I am and not who really who I am. I was wrong to judge you at first, because you are not an egoistical and selfish person, you are way more than that, Dante. You were the guy who taught me what love is in the silent and simplest moments rather than in a grand gesture.

You gave me the reason to love again and feel love again. Kung hindi dahil sa iyo, hindi ko maiintidihan ang konsepto ng totoong pagmamahal. Dahil sa iyo Dante, natuto kong mahalin ang sarili ko, kung sino man ako at kung ano man ako, at dahil dito natuto akong maging matapang upang harapin ang aking mga kinakatakutan. It was all because of you, Dante--so thank you... Thank you for teaching me this kind of love--a love that is brave and self-loving. A love that is selfless and accepting. A love that is timeless and enduring.

At ngayon na wala ka na sa tabi ko, pangako Dante, magiging matapang na ako upang harapan ang aking hinaharap kahit wala man ikaw o si Nanay Aning sa aking tabi. Pangako Dante, magiging matapang ako para sa akin sarili. Huwag mong kalimutan na naandito lang ako naghihintay sa iyo, dahil kahit ano ang mangyari hinding-hindi ako mawawala sa iyong piling.

Pero higit sa lahat, Dante, huwag mong kalimutan na mahal kita, Dante--because I do. I really do so much. Kahit sa maikling panahon na ating pagsasama, minahal kita nangg lubos at alam kong hinding-hindi ito magbabago kahit lumipas man ang ilang taon. In the shortest time we had, I felt I have loved you for so long. Hinding-hindi magbabago ang pagmamahal ko sa iyo, Dante. I love you, Dante and I always will.

I know this is not a good bye for us. Because I know, someday, one day, magkikita at magsasama tayo muli, Dante. At sa pagkakataon na iyon, pangako Dante I will love you with all the love I can give. At hihintayin ko iyon, Dante. Hihintayin ko ang iyong muling pagbabalik.

Hanggang sa muli...

Sincerely Yours,

Elena.

I closed the letter put it back in my bag as I pressed it within the pages of the book I was reading and once again curved my lips into a condescending smile. As I lulled myself back to sleep, my eyes shut down invariably, and together with it, a blink of blaring light enveloped my thoughts. 

Flashes of my memory about her came by again as though I was reliving them again like a replay of a movie set in a colorful picturesque. I was back in that creaking, old Ferris wheel, memorizing every bit of her face as she gave me her most precious smile. 

'Thank you, Dante. For everything...Til we meet again...'

The heavy breathing on my chest lightened, and somehow, at that moment, I found my haven even if we are miles apart from each other. 

I'm already a thousand miles and a day away from you, Elena . . . soon, I'll be there with you—back to my home. 

*** THE END ***