Love is a drug - eddie munson x reader

Part 16

Warnings: mentions of suicide, alcoholism, drug use, self harm, bullying, trauma, abuse, and ptsd.

A/n: so idk how to say this but please don't joke abt some of the stuff that goes on in this chapter cuz a lot of it is based on my life and shit that's happened so yeah. Anyways sorry for all the depressing shit but I promise there's gonna be smut in the next chapter.

I heard a bang from her bedroom. God what is she doing now. I got up and walked to her bedroom but struggled to open the door. It was like someone was In front of it, holding it shut.

"Mum stop being silly and let me in." I finally managed to slightly open the door, squeezing through the gap.

She was sitting down, her head and body leaned against the door.

"Mum what are you doing." She didn't answer, she was slightly shaking.

"Mum what are doing, stop being silly and answer me!" I started to shake her body but she wouldn't move. "Mum answer me."

After a few minutes of shouting and shaking her, I saw. I moved her face towards me and realised. The rope of her dressing gown which was hanging on the door was rapped tightly around her neck.

"Mum!" I started to cry and jumped away. Tears were pouring down my face seeing her like this. Her eyes were shut and she was starting to loose conciseness.

I struggled to un tie the rope around her neck but eventually unloosened it and threw it off her neck.

She fell over, lying on the floor and started breathing heavily. I didn't know what to do. I started having a panic attack, my body shaking, not being able to the stop the tears and was in complete shock. I sat down on her bed, watching her. Why would she do this?

I studied her body until I caught her wrists. I grabbed her wirst as she started screaming. Two bandages drenched in blood were covering half her wirst. I let go, panicking even more.

She finally sat up and her drunk face stared at my traumatised one.

"Why are you crying?"

"Because I saw you trying to kill youself." I cried.

"What I don't get what your saw!" She raised her voice.

"I saw you trying to fucking hang yourself!" I screamed.

She kept on repeating that she was sorry but I couldn't even react. I picked up my computer and started searching psych wards near me. It seemed stupid but I couldn't let her kill herself. I didn't even feel safe right now living with her. I definitely would not leave her sight until she was sober and safe.

"Y/n! Y/n!" I heard Eddie's voice. I couldn't see him, but I felt him.

I gasped as I shot up, Eddie was sat up next to me. My eyes immediately started to water, remembering the dream. It was so...real.

"Y/n you are having a nightmare. What happened?" He put his arm around me, trying to calm down my appalled body.

"Breathe." He said.

I finally calmed down, throwing myself at Eddie's chest. I'd never had such a strong embrace with someone. I figured that now was the time that I told Eddie the truth. Even if he thought I was a weirdo afterwards.

"Y/n what happened?" He moved me away from his chest so he could look at me.

"Eddie I need to tell you the truth about everything, but please don't think different of me." He nodded and looked at me scared.

I let out a deep breath before I started this massive confession which I've never done before. "My whole life and even before I was born, my mother has been an alcoholic." He held my hand tightly, knowing that this was going to be bad. "Eventually my dad got tired and left with my brother, Steve. I stayed with my mum though. At the end of middle school and the start of high school, I was bullied and made fun of by most of my classmates for being...well different I guess. They would torment me and laugh at me to the point were I couldn't pretend to myself that it didn't bother me and I even used to force myself to throw up and tried everything to not go to school but my mother didn't care and told me to just get on with it. When I was about 10, that's when I started cutting myself. Then when I was about 12 or 13 I decided to turn to drugs and starve myself. I don't starve myself now. I had no friends so I'd felt lonelier than ever. Me and my mother as I got older had a bad relationship as I started to understand everything. I'd been looking after he as a child when she was drunk but I only realised till I was like 10. Me and my mum started to get into fights like everyday and got very violent with me on some occasions."

He took at deep breath and held me tighter. "Then what affected me the most was when my mother tried to kill herself in front of me. After that happened I got ptsd and remembered horrible memories and eventually realised that then wasn't the first time she tried to kill herself. Just before I moved here I got tired of everything and tried to," I started to cry as Eddie tried to wipe a couple of tears away, "I tried to kill myself." After I said that, he pulled me into the tightest hug I've ever experienced. He seemed horrified as I heard him breathing heavily.

"Y/n I-" Eddie barley knew what to say. "Y/n I'm so sorry. That is the worst thing I've ever heard in my entire life and I wish I was there to stop it." He hugged me even harder. "I don't think your a freak. I love you so much y/n."

I realised that I was full on crying now. "God I'm sorry, I shouldn't be so emotional-" I tried to wipe away my tears with my sleeve.

"Y/n don't say that! You're not emotional, anybody who experienced something like that would. You're so strong for keeping up with that."

It was silent for a couple of minutes.

"Is that why you moved to Hawkins? For a new life?"

"Well yeah and I didn't really have a choice."

"Oh well now i know why Steve is so protective over you." I nodded in response. That made me realise how much Steve actually cared about me. "He's a good brother y/n. A lot of people would die for a brother who actually loves them like Steve loves you." I again nodded.

I started to get tired from all the crying and long hugs till I pretty much passed out on Eddie's shoulder. He layed me down and hugged me from behind, holding my hand tightly.

"Everything is going to be okay. That's the past, me and steve will look after you until we physically cannot."

And I wish that was true.