Failure

Chapter 4: The Sound of Truth

After putting some thought into it, I decided to resign from my personal training job. I really felt like I wanted to just start something new. So after resigning, I decided to take a break. Wanted to relax before pursuing my education again. During the time I did freelance personal training on the side and worked as a juice seller. I described it as a time for me to reflect and go again.

Fast forward a year. January 21st, Monday. The day I can officially call myself a student. I enrolled in an Arts and Design course because this was the only subject that did not have maths in the syllabus. I was excited at first. But I knew that I can't draw or paint. I knew that I just had to find a way to just pass. I couldn't care whether it was the ugly way or the beautiful way. I had one objective. Just to pass. 

My first day went alright, made some new friends, and everything was going alright. To sum it up my first term (semester) in the course, to be honest with you, I was enjoying it. I enjoyed my lecturers and some of the people in the course and passed all of my subjects. Safe to say it was my first time passing all of my subjects. Despite it only being two subjects, a pass is a pass.

Bring on my second term, this is where I finally met Mr. S. He handled one of my subjects. I remember the day meeting him. I remember I came in 15-minutes late. This was due to me getting into a minor accident with my car. But I'm just glad that I escaped without any injuries. Just a slight dent to my car. First impression, he seemed like a cool guy at first. Looks like that laid back sort of person. But when I got into the remaining weeks, I thought I was coming into his class for a roasting session. Usually, at the start of the class, he would ask all the students to pass him our work which we had done for the week and he would just lay it out into three sections across the floor. The first section is always the best, the second section is being so and so, and the last is the fucking horrible section. I was always placed in the horrible section. I was not really surprised, to be honest, I'm not good at drawing. So it's understandable why my work is placed there. I just wanted this nightmare to be over. But July 8th, 2019 was the day when I just had enough. It was meant to be a simple day for me. But turned out to be a nightmare. I still remember him saying my work was shit. But the past is the past. 

Minus his subject, I had other subjects. Others subjects included a painting theory, a speaking subject, which is safe to say this was my favourite subject. Followed by a design subject and a drawing subject. Safe to say I manage to just pass all the subjects. 

As that term came to a close, I was in my 3rd term. I knew I had two more terms to go after that. Overall my 3rd term was alright. I had to do some designing subjects which included graphic design, plus a textile subject, another drawing subject, and a history subject based on arts. But what sticks out to me from that term is that I think I finally made peace with Mr. S. He was teaching photography. During that time, I had an interest in photography. I knew this was something that I wanted to do in the future. The first few weeks went alright, because this was a subject I really enjoyed doing. It's safe to say that Mr. S sees that drawing is not my strong point. I always ask him questions about how can I improve my skills as a photographer.  

Graphic design was like a love, hate relationship. You can sort of say it's like supporting a football team. You stick around them when they win, you stick around them when they lose. But the only advantage is that I can use some of the digital application such as Photoshop. I still remember we had an employer project. It was part of our college syllabus, which required all students to handle an employer project. The client wanted us to design a birthday card. So I knew that this was going to be a challenge. But you can say that the most important thing is that you completed the work. Am I right?

Drawing is something which I'll never like. I knew that my quality of work will never be like the others. But I just tried my best to deliver something. 

The textile subject was not too bad, the lecturer was a decent guy. He turned out to be Mr. S best friend teaching the subject. I only enjoyed the subject because he was teaching it. But other than that, the workload was quite heavy. Especially when I fell sick, It was really tough to get back on track. Because this subject really requires you to be at college at all times to do the work. But my lecturer knew that I was sick, so he was fine with it. 

History of arts was alright. It was nice to read about how certain architectures around the world was built, including the history of the building. 

But let me tell you a story. I remember in the 3rd week of the term, I had a test. My lecturer gave us a 10-minute break. So I decided to go downstairs and get a drink. Well, long story short, I missed the test. So that was 20% gone from my final coursework marks. Basically, what happened, was I wanted to go to the college shop to get a drink. But in the distance, I saw a couple of ladies who I know personally. So me being Lewis Knight, I went over there and spoke to them. Thanks to them, I ended up taking a 30-minute break instead of a 10-minute break. An important lesson to take away from this, don't get distracted by things around you. How do I feel about it? Well, I knew that I wasn't going to achieve an A or a high grade, but I know that it's not the end of the world.  

At the end of the term, the year was coming to an end. All I wanted for Christmas, was to pass all of my subjects. Well, I think I've been a good boy that year, because I manage to pass all of my subjects. It's hard to believe that I've studying for almost a full year, and I've not failed a single subject yet. But I guess for the first time ever, luck is on my side.