Black Rose

8 ~ Tests

Tw: self-harm (it's just 3 small paragraphs, it isn't graphic, it's easily avoidable, I've spaced it out a little from the rest of the plot) and a whole lot of anxiety 

I groan frustratedly, slamming the book in front of me shut.

"I cant do it," I say to nobody in particular. I'm alone in the library, there's nobody around. "I'm stupid. I give up."

"You're not stupid," I hear Remus say from behind me.

Or I thought I was alone.

I sigh slightly, putting my head in my hands.

He comes and sits down beside me, gently placing his hand on my back.

"What's going on?" He asks.

"I'm being made to take the end of year tests from first year, so I pretty much have to teach myself everything that I should've learned last year in the next couple weeks or they're going to put me back to first year."

"You know you could've asked me for help," He says softly.

"Well, I thought I was fine doing it myself," I say. "But there's just so many things and none of them are going into my head and just ughhh."

"How much do you need to learn?"

I reach into my bad and pull out the list that Flitwick made for me and slide it over to him. It's a list of all the main important topics that I'll need to know.

"I assume everything you've scored out if stuff you know," He says and I nod. "Okay, so there's really not much more you need to learn. And honestly it is really impressive how much you've managed to teach yourself, you've done great. So from here, I can help you out with anything you don't get. I promise you'll do great."

"Nope, too much stuff, too many words, I'm done with life, no more." I flop my face into the table.

"It's really not a lot," He says, trying and failing to hide the amusement in his voice. "And honestly, the first year tests mean nothing, I have no idea why they're making you do them."

"Because the world is evil," I mumble into the table.

"Alright, lift your head from the table and come with me to my office."

"Cant. Dead."

"Rosalie, come on." 

"Dead." 

He just chuckles in response before lightly bopping me on the head with a book. 

"Let's go," He says and I sit up, glaring at him slightly. 

Sighing slightly, I get up off my seat and follow him to his office. 

We then spend the next few evenings practicing spells and potions and all the fun school stuff. 

But eventually the stress of it all gets to me and one night, I break down. 

It's late at night, and to avoid waking anyone I lock myself away in the bathroom, hoping the walls are thick enough to muffle the sound of me crying. 

I sit on the floor, my back against the bath, my knees up to my chest as I sob uncontrollably. 

I'm just so worried that I'm going to fail these tests. I cant be put back to first year, not when I've finally made a friend. Being in different years would probably cause us to drift apart and I cant stand the thought of that. Luna is the only friend I have, I cant lose her.