Black Rose

11 ~ Patronus Lesson

I walk into the History of Magic classroom and see that Harry and Remus are both already here. 

"Rosalie, perfect, you're here," Remus says. "I was just explaining to Harry that I have a boggart in here - they turn into whatever you fear the most - and for Harry it turns into a dementor, and I think it could be beneficial to practice the spell on something that's close enough to the real thing." 

I nod. 

"So, how does the spell work?" Harry asks. 

"You need to focus on a strongly happy memory as you say the incantation 'Expecto patronum,'" He answers. "There are many qualified wizards who have difficulty with this spell, so don't put too much pressure on yourselves." 

My mind immediately jumps to when I got Marshmallow. It's definitely a happy memory. 

"Alright, are you both ready?" Remus asks and Harry and I nod. "Rosalie, step back a little so it definitely turns into Harry's worst fear and not yours." 

I do as he says and then he opens up his briefcase. A dementor slowly starts to rise from it. Ignoring the anxiety bubbling in my stomach, I focus hard on the happy memory. 

"Expecto patronum," Me and Harry say at the same time. But nothing more than a pathetic blue flash shoots from either of our wands. 

I begin backing away from the creature. A million bad thoughts creeping into my mind. The voice of Tom Riddle rings through my head. Loud screaming. My breathing gets uneven and I feel like I'm going to die. 

My backs hits the wall and I slink down onto the floor, my knees up at my chest, my face in my knees. 

I flinch when Remus gently places his hand on my arm. 

"Are you okay?" He asks softly. The dementor/boggart is gone, back in the case. 

"I don't know," I mumble without lifting my head. 

"You don't need to do this if you don't want to." 

"I just want the dementors to stop affecting me as badly as they do," I say, tears flowing from my eyes. 

Harry comes and sits beside me and I rest my head on his shoulder. 

"I get what you mean," He says quietly. "I hate that they make me faint. Like, what if they show up at the next quidditch match? If we lose the next match, then we have no chance of winning the cup."

"That should not be your main concern." 

"Well it is." 

"You're an idiot." 

"Yeah." 

"We can try again when you're both ready," Remus says, handing us both chocolate frogs. "Try thinking of different, happier memories next time." 

Ignoring the fact that I still feel a bit shaky from the fake dementor, I wrack my brain for more memories. 

I think of when I got my Hogwarts letter. How excited I was about coming to Hogwarts. 

Harry and I both stand up, once again raising our wands as Remus slowly opens up the trunk. 

Focusing hard on the memory, I yell "Expecto Patronum" but still nothing happens. 

Fear sinks in again. Darkness fills up my mind. I start tearing up. I'm going to die. 

"No, no, no," I mumble. 

I hear a slam as Remus shuts the trunk. 

"Alright, I've think you've both had enough of this for tonight," He says as Harry gets up off the floor, tears in his eyes.