What is Love?

~ Chapter 4 ~

~ Eight Years Earlier ~

It's been two years since I moved into my prison cell. I tend to spend most of my time across the road in Naomi and Calum's house. Naomi and I had a joint birthday party this year! Naomi's mum, Mrs. Calvin, helped us bake a cake. We both got to design half of the cake each. So that we both got a say on the cake!

Naomi's side was covered in icing butterflies and flowers. Naomi has always been sort of creative. I didn't know what to do on my side of the cake. So I covered it with a pink color and wrote the number '13' on it in big writing.

The party was small, we just had a few friends from school over. Calum had turned sixteen the month before our birthday so he had a bigger party. Turning sixteen seemed like a big deal to him. His father keeps telling him to get a job but he doesn't seem bothered with getting one.

Everyone sang happy birthday to us and we dug into the cake. I took a slice of the cake and ran out to The Calvins front porch. I pull myself up onto the white wooden porch swing and look over at my house. All the lights are off. My mother didn't even come to her own daughter's birthday party. A mother's unconditional love.

Calum emerges from the front door in search of me. When his eyes meet mine he does his ridiculous half-smirk. ''Naomi's looking for you. Are you going to come back inside?'' I shake my head. He's standing in front of me with his hands down at his sides nervously. ''I never got to say happy birthday to you, today.'' I furrow my brows at him and tilt my head in curiosity. I mutter a slight mhm. ''Wait here.''

He disappears through the door and comes out holding a present. It's a sort of flat box in the shape of a square. It's wrapped in football wrapping paper, it looks like it was left over from his birthday last month. ''I didn't have any other wrapping paper so I just used this.'' He hands me the box and does his half-smirk AGAIN, and looks down at his feet.

I rip past the wrapping paper and beneath it is the Monopoly game that Calum takes over to my house to play at night. He's done it a few times over the past few years. Maybe once a month I'd say. He mutters a happy birthday to me and continues to look down at his feet. He's gotten way taller in the past two years. He's like double the height of me!

''Thank you so much, Calum. I love it!'' I jump up and run over to hug him. I rest my head on his chest and wrap my arms around his waist. It takes him a while to realize that I'm hugging him and then he wraps his arms around me too. ''Em, what are you two doing?'' Naomi is standing looking at us from the front door. We drop our hold on each other and face her. I hold up the present to her and she slowly nods her head. ''Come on in, Phoenix! There's more cake!'' I run after her but before I go through the front door I look back at Calum who's just standing there watching me leave him. He looks sad?

After everyone left the party I ran back over to my house. I noticed a light on so I knew my mother was home. I walk into the kitchen and notice her leaning on the island sipping a glass of wine. She's about to take another sip only she notices me and puts the glass down. She looks disappointed to see me. ''Hi, mom.'' I quietly whisper, barely audible.

''What's this I hear about you and that child from across the road having a joint birthday party?'' She takes a swing from her glass. ''That child is called Naomi, mom. And our birthdays are a week apart so we had a joint birthday.'' She takes another swing. ''It's not your birthday honey.'' She takes another swing. She finally puts the glass down and pulls a box of cereal from the cupboard. ''My birthday is today, mom.'' She glances down at her watch and then to the calendar on the wall. ''What? It's August already?'' I walked away.

How could my own mother forget my birthday? I just storm out of the kitchen and head to my bedroom. I crawl up into a ball on my bed and the tears just come flowing out of my eyes uncontrolably. All I wanted was my own to at least say happy birthday to me. I hear my bedroom window slide up and figure coming through it. In my rage I didn't even go to turn the light on. I jump up and curl up against the headboard away from the intruder who just entered my house.

The flashes on and I hold in a scream. It's Calum? ''Hey, it's me!'' He's standing with a container in his hand. He's wearing a blue hoodie now. He didn't have that on at the party. At the party he was wearing his signature look, black shorts and grey T-shirt.

I still remain attached to my headboard. I notice Calum looking around my room and then his gaze falls on me. Calums never been in my bedroom before. He's only ever been in the kitchen with me so this is awkward. ''Is this your bedroom?'' He gestures to the whole room and I slowly nod my head still curled up. He's probably comparing my plain box room to his sisters big fancy pink bedroom. He walks over to the bed and takes a seat at the end of it. He stretches his arm out and puts his hand onto my shoudler. ''Why are you crying, Nix?'' Nix? That's not my name? He notices my curious expression and laughs. ''It's my new nickname for you.''

I curl out of the ball I'm in and smile up at him. ''I hate that nickname.'' Somehow that makes him giggle more. ''I'll call you, Cal then?'' He stops laughing and his eyes widen. ''I'm not a fifty year old man, Nix.'' I burst out laughing and so does he. Somehow anytime my mother did something to piss me off, Calum always cheered me up. ''I brought us some of the left over cake.'' He moves up on the bed and sits on it with his legs crossed. I do the same, like I'm mirroring his actions. He removes the lid from the container and he pulls out two forks and hands me one. He gestures to eat the cake so I dig my fork in and eat some.

''Why were you crying, Nix?'' I want to smile at the ridiculous nickname he's christened me with but I can't. I feel like crying again. ''My mum forgot my birthday.'' I fiddle with my thumbs and try to avoid eye contact with him. ''Is she drinking again?'' Calums the only one I told about my mother's drinking problem. She never was as bad as how she has been in the past two years. I slowly nod my head at him and I can see from the change in his deamour that he feels sorry for me and I don't want people to feel sorry for me on birthday.

''She didn't realize it was August. I think she's broke beyond repair.'' I finally meet Calum eyes and he reaches over and takes my hand in his. ''No one's ever broken beyond repair, Nix. Sometimes good people do bad things but they can always change if they truly want to.'' His words stick with me. They will always stick with me. Calum should a write a book on advice for kids whose parents are alcholics and can't remember their kids birthday.

I mouth a thank you to him and this time he gives me a full smile! No half-smirk just his full smile. I feel like my heart is doing back flips in my chest. ''I best get back home before Naomi notices I'm missing. It's best she doesn't know I come over here.'' I'm always sad when Calum leaves, just him being in the same room as me makes me happy.

''I'll come over tomorrow night and play Monopoly with you.'' I smile up and him and watch as he goes to exit through the window. He leaves the container of cake behind him. ''Oh, and Nix? Happy birthday.'' He says before he disappears through the window. Taking a little bit of my heart with him.