Monsters

Chapter Fourteen

No one ever saw me. At least, not the real me anyway. And maybe that had been for the better. I could keep myself locked away and protect my heart from ever opening up to anyone. Besides, if I never let anyone in, then they can never truly hurt me, right?

Being a part of the Blight family had its perks, but it also came with a crushing weight on your shoulders. I had to look and act certain ways because of the family name, yet that wasn't what bothered me. I understood that being in a family like mine I had to uphold a certain image and I could not argue with that.

My parents had worked hard to get us where we were and for that I was lucky. I appreciated all that had been given to me, though that didn't mean I didn't have to work to earn it. I had to be deserving of it, not just given things on a silver platter. My parents didn't want my siblings and me to grow up spoiled. They wanted us to grow to be hard-working so that we could continue the family name after them.

Because I understood, I wanted to show it by taking on the responsibilities given to me. I had to work hard in my studies so that I could pursue a great career path. And though the responsibilities were taxing, I knew that the intentions behind them were for the better. So keeping up my studies in school was my main goal educationally. I couldn't pursue any extracurricular activities unless they were beneficial for my future. That was sad but necessary.

Another responsibility was simply upholding my image. But that came at the cost of choosing my friends. I had to surround myself with the kids of my parent's friends. Though I knew they had been forced into the same thing and I didn't mind them. Sure, some of them were raised to be a bit more privileged, but they weren't all like that. I just wasn't allowed to branch out which was upsetting, yet once again, necessary.

So many people knew of me. And my close, chosen friends knew some parts of me, but no one knew me. Though my siblings were the closest to knowing me than anyone could ever get. They could be annoying, but they could also be kind, and they looked after me. People looked at me, yes, but they didn't see me. That's what I had always believed until the world ended and I had found Luz. I thought things could've ended differently, better, with her.

I remember walking to school on that day before the rain came and before the end. My sister had offered to drive me but I was upset from a fight I had previously had with our parents. I stormed out of the front door only for Emira to follow me shortly after. 

I left in a hurry, without a thought, these actions stemming from my frustration. I didn't realize my mistake until later when I had been looking upon the town as it started to drizzle, then it started to pour, then I was left alone, an onlooker of the end without knowing it. I had made it to the school with speed. My anger only fueled my actions afterward. I pushed the front doors open with force, gaining attention from other students, as the doors slammed against the walls with a loud bang.

I ignored the stares, glaring straight ahead. When I made it to my locker, everyone knew it, because I had opened my locker door with the same amount of force. The metal clang echoed across the hall. I shoved my books into my backpack as a few angry tears slipped down my face. I saw a glimpse of my angered face in my small locker mirror before wiping my tears and quickly slamming it shut.

When I left, I hadn't really known that it would be the last time I'd speak to my parents and I regret how the words I had said were the last ones my parents had heard. When I had been walking the halls, blowing off my friends, I hadn't known that those would be my last exchanges with them either. I have a lot of regrets because of it. There were so many things I'd go back and change about that day if I could.

Meeting Luz, a person who had reawakened my hopes, made me feel so happy. With her, things were different. I had started to open up in a way I hadn't before and I felt like I was finally being truly seen. But before Luz, I had my brother, at least during the end that is, until I'd lost him. The worst day since all of this had started.