The 1 - chaeyu

1

One cold spring night, it was Saturday, I invited my friends to my house to have a good time while we cooked a pizza, in that time I was still in a relationship with Mina, I remember it all too well. Unfortunately my relationship with her wasn't the same, I was tired of that monotony, of that "love".

   In the kitchen of my house were my best friends, Dahyun, Momo, Sana, Somi and Tzuyu. It was one of the last nights that I saw Tzuyu smile, I remember laughing with Somi while we were all drank, who would have thought that such a beautiful night would end up in chaos.

The two first to leave were Momo and Somi, followed by Dahyun and then Sana. I remember sitting in front of Tzuyu, who was already drunk, then she started crying out of nowhere, there I realized that something strange was happening to her and I couldn't beat the curiosity of not knowing what was happening, I got up to hug her but the horn of a car rang, they came to look for her.

   That night, as soon as she returned home, I remember sending her messages asking her if she had arrived yet, if she was better, but I needed to get the big question out of my head and finally ask her what was the reason for her crying, I insisted, I shouldn't have done it knowing the condition she was in, but she ended up telling me it was about me.

She confessed each and every one of her feelings for me, I didn't know what to do, because even though I also felt things for her, I still had a two-year relationship with Minari and it wouldn't be fair for her to be betrayed by me, keeping my mouth shut would have been the most mature thing I could have done, I chose to tell Tzuyu not to miss the opportunities and that I also felt things for her.

    To this day I resist the temptation to ask her if one thing had been different, just one, would everything be different today? The days continued, the fights with Tzuyu increased, the distrust increased. And the truth is that I can't judge her, everything was repeated over and over again.

— "You promised me that you would tell it all to Mina, I trusted you and you lied to me again, I know it's difficult but if you don't want to, then don't do it and that's it, but stop making me false illusions."

— "I'm sorry Tzutzu, it's difficult for me to think clearly when I don't even know what to do, I feel stuck, but don't worry, I'll tell her as soon as I can."

We were stuck, our "relationship" had become a roller coaster of emotions, but I had to take responsibility, I don't know what I did thought at the time or why I was lying to Tzuyu. Once again I told her that I would talk to Minari to put an end to ours, once again I lied, but this time ruining it forever.

  It was Sana's birthday party, we were all there celebrating, drinking and dancing to the rhythm of the music. I was really a little drunk, I get carried away and I took Somi out to dance without thinking about anyone else, just her and me, taking her by the waist and smiling while our bodies got closer and closer.

After a while, I could feel a cold stare on me, it was Tzuyu, her stare was all broken, hurt and full of pain, I completely ignored her and kept dancing with Somi even knowing how insecure she made Tzuyu feel. I saw her get up and go to the bathroom, I just ignored her.

   I ignored the fact that I didn't only hurt my best friend, but the person I loved, but also my girlfriend who was at home trusting me, while what was I doing?, I finally got apart from Somi to walk to the kitchen and serve myself another glass of vodka, when suddenly I felt a presence there, behind mine.

— "Can we talk?"  Tzuyu asked with a choppy voice.

— "Yes, I guess" I replied in a bad way.

— "You don't realize it, do you?" she questioned, hiding her face because of the tears appearing.

— "What do you mean?"

— "What do I mean? You know perfectly well the intentions that Somi has with you and you still let her be thrown at you as if nothing had happened between us." she said angrily.

— "Tzuyu, you know perfectly well that Somi is just a friend to me and I would never wanted her..." I snorted

— "I needed to have this moment with you because I feel that you are only using me to have a reason to break up with your girlfriend, if you really want to do it, because it has been a month since I'm asking you to tell her about us, it's easy for you to say things but hard to do them" she confessed, looking straight to me.

— "Look, Tzuyu... It's not easy to throw a two-and-a-half-year relationship to the trash just like that, tomorrow I'll talk to Minari and break up with her, and to end this conversation if I hurt you that much as you said then get away, I never used you anyway" I ended up leaving her alone.

That was the last time we talked face to face, the next day I ended my relationship with Minari but I didn't feel the same way, Tzuyu sent me messages but I did never answered, I had lost her and my friends, the only person that didn't left me was Somi, and I started to date with her...