Behind A Computer Screen

I Didn't Think

I look down at the email that Erik sent and had woke me up half way through the night. I felt like a 6th grader getting little notes passed to her from the guy she liked, I know I shouldn't but I do.

MacKenzie isn't that good in bed, she's actually terrible because she starts it all up but then...she pulls back. She never actually has sex, she get's as far as her underwear and then says she has to go. But enough about my dumb girlfriend, more about you.

Any guys you interested in? or Girls?

-Erik

I smile at it and shake my head before thinking up a short reply. It took a few moments in my sleep fogged brain but I found one...but it wasn't short.

There is this one guy, he's been at me for weeks on end now. His name's Tyrone and I always thought he was into my cousin - Winter - but it turns out he's into me. I actually plan on asking him out because he's so very shy. Good looking too, he has this whole lost puppy thing going but that's a good thing.

I have the whole mysterious, good girl thing going. Everyone thinks I'm like...so innocent that I haven't drank, smoked, or did at least one joint. I'm best friends with Kenzi for crying out loud? Of course I've done that before.

I'm thinking of joining this choir thing that's going on in the school but then there's this new martial arts thing starting up here and I really want to do boxing and kick boxing. Kenzi's doing the wrestling, proving once again she isn't the girliest girl there is.

Tell your blonde girlfriend I say hey, what's the harm right?

-Avery

I send the email and lock my phone. I look over at the love seat where Kenzi's sound asleep too, her phone resting beside her stomach and her right hand tucked tightly under her cheek. She looked at ease for the first time since school started but I understand, with Whitney always on her about her looks, weight, attitude, I'm surprised she never took up the offer to move with her dad this year.

I sigh and close my eyes. It was only moments until I see black.

"Don't do it Avery," Threatened Lou who stood across from me with tears running down her face, her hazel eyes looking greener then ever. "You always choose her side and just because Wyatt made his god damn decision doesn't mean I can't fight it!"

"Louise! For God's fucking sake. Grow up or at least come back to reality and get a life. You lost Wyatt because of this. Aren't you at least bit confused on why he lost all feelings for you? You read instead of payng attention to him, you won't do the things he want's to do. You bore him. Kenzi on the other hand, she's willing to go to a party once in a while, she's not a prude, she can sit down and watch a movie and cuddle, and she can read a book, but she also pays attention to him. Something you, have never done!" I screamed at her, and the look in her eyes changed.

Lou's eyes darkened, her posture straightened and the air around us got colder. "Take that back or you'll regret it," I didn't realize she had reached to the back of her jeans until I heard the click of a handgun. "I swear I'll do it."

"This is why Wyatt left you," I mumbled but rose my hands in surrender.

"Good girl."

I woke with a start and looked around. Shit. "You okay?" Kenzi asked, her brown eyes full of curiosity.

"Yeah...just a bad dream," I whispered breathlessly. She smiled at me before going back to watching Grey's Anatomy on her phone. That girl's obsessed.

***

I stared blankly at the wall in Winter's room. I have no idea what to do now. I never expected Wyatt to break up with me, I always knew there was this thing between Kenzi and Wyatt but I never took him as one to need to take it further. "Wyatt's in love with Kenzi."

The small gasp from Winter and Elena came as a surprise. How could they have not known? They've known Wyatt since him and Kenzi became friends back in the 3rd grade. "It's no surprise. I just never thought he'd admitt it to me. Me and Wyatt have been dating for a year and," I let out a breath and the tears started. "And he still chose her. He's always going to choose her. I knew something changed a few months back, a few months before he asked for a break. He ditched me at Acqua Al 2 to go...pick her up at the park because her boyfriend had dumped her. I didn't expect it go go this far."

"No one did. Wyatt's known how Kenzi's felt about him for years now. You returned home in 7th Grade. You're now in 10th. Last year, just before he started dating you. Kenzi told him she liked him, Wyatt turned her down. He told he never saw her that way. Kenzi and Wyatt never talked for weeks and then...he started dating you. Kenzi forced herself to be nice to Wyatt and then it came naturally again," Elena explained, I looked at her confused. "She forgave him and supported your relationship, but then came the points where everytime you argued he'd talk to her about it. Rub the fact that you two were together in her face. It's not your fault that he chose her. He's known how he felt way before you two started dating he just...his heart couldn't catch up to his mind until her and Mark broke up."

"So really...I was a lie," I whispered, their silence confirmed what I thought. Wyatt and me were never really gonna last. Wyatt was one day going to figure out that he was in love with Kenzi and forget all about me, even if we were together. It was always...Kenzi.

"Kenzi and Wyatt have history. Never say you'll never get him back because...because Mark's been in the talks of wanting her back," Winter said looking at me, nothing but pity and sympathy in her chocolate brown eyes.

"No...it's over."

***

I looked around my house and grabbed the last of what belonged to Lou out of it before stuffing it in a duffle bag that I barely use anymore. I felt bad, no doubt about it but it was always there.

Lou made me feel like I was worthless because she paid so little attention to me and when she finally did start paying attention...she had lost me. She knew it when I started looking at her differently but I couldn't take it. I couldn't feel the guilt anymore because I had fallen for my best friend.

***

Avery, let me count the ways on how you surprise me. Wait...it's just one. You said you weren't going to like me. You said you weren't going to trust me. You said we weren't going to be friends, but what is this? It seems that we're friends. Believe me, when you told me in such a threatening email, I was so scared but now that we have 23 emails between us. Not counting this one...I'd like to say.

I told you so.

Go for it with that Tyrone guy, if he's shy, you ask him. Just because you're a girl doesn't mean you can't ask a guy to be more then friends.

Now...let's talk about you smoking and drinking and having some weed. Never have I ever thought you'd do it. You even look like a goody-two-shoes. Now that you told me that, I can't help but picture you in a biker jacket, skin tight jeans, black tank tops, and covered in piercings and tattoos everywhere. Even the inappropriate places. ;)

-Erik

I send the email and lean back into my chair at the dinner table. My family is completely chaotic. "Erik, time to go shoot some cats!" My father says too greatfully. I sigh and get up, I go to my room, grabbing my bright orange hoodie and pulling on my sneakers.

The worst part of my day.

***

"Are you still joining me in a jam session at the cafe?" I ask Avery who's across from me and my cousin who's on facetime. Avery gives me a small 'mmmhm' and my cousin doesn't reply. "Don't you dare bail on me Chelsea."

"I'd never do that Kenz," Chelsea replies as I hear her keyboard start to fold up. "At what time are we meeting up?" She asks.

"Around 4," Avery shouts across the room and over her hair dryer. I understand the shouting because...damn was that hair dryer loud. I smile at my Avery before braiding my hair to the side, silently.

"I'll see you in an hour," Chelsea said before hanging up. I smile over at Avery who sends me a nervous one back. It was quiet between us except for the hair dryer and then...we were in a fit of laughter.