Lake of Fire [k. cobain]

seven

It had been three days since I'd seen Kurt. I missed him terribly. All I could think about was the way he looked at me—the way he kissed me. I never thought anything like this would happen to me. It barely felt real. I was starting to wonder if I had hallucinated Kurt altogether.

I wondered where he could be while he wasn't here. He was definitely secretive. I wondered about it but he seemed so sweet and sincere. I was sure there had to be a good explanation.

I finally had a day off work. Nice as it was, I still had to run errands and drop everyone else off.

I had a full carload of Jody, Lacey and Benny when I stopped by work in the morning to pick up my paycheck. I pulled up by the office and let the car idle while I jumped out to run inside.

I nearly ran straight into Kurt.

"Oh hey, Andi," he said softly, with a crooked smile that always made me melt. I felt myself grinning.

"Hey Kurt." I was so happy to see that he was back. I wished I was working. "I'm just here to get my check. I have the day off."

"Oh, really? Want to come over later?" Kurt offered.

"Maybe," I answered. "But it might be tough to get away from my family."

"It's okay. Just come if you can, okay?"

"Okay."

"I guess I'll see you around then," Kurt said awkwardly. I really wanted to kiss him, but Martin was working and it would have been weird. Kurt headed out the door.

A moment later, I heard a bunch of shouting and ran out of the office.

Lacey, Jody and Benny had all climbed from the car and surrounded Kurt.

"You're Kurt Cobain!"

"Holy fuck!"

"I love Nirvana! Oh my god!" I marched over to my family.

"What is going on?"

"You didn't tell us you knew Kurt Cobain!" exclaimed Benny.

"What?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"Oh my God, Kelsi. You live under a fucking rock!" exclaimed Lacey. "You don't know anything." She turned to Kurt. "By the way, I'm a huge fan." Kurt looked stricken. Jody stared at me with eyes wide as saucers but said nothing.

"Wait," I said, trying to process everything. I turned to Kurt. "You're famous?" Kurt immediately hung his head. I felt sick. How could I not have known?

"I am," he said softly. "I'm in a band called Nirvana."

"They're really fucking good!" chimed in Benny.

"Language!" I snapped immediately. Kurt smirked at me. Under different circumstances it would have been cute. But at the present I was confused and hurt. "Kurt, why didn't you tell me?"

"Listen, Andi. I know I should have told you. I wanted to. But I was enjoying spending time with someone who wanted to be around me for me, and not just because of the fame. I never get that anymore. I was so amazed when you didn't recognize me."

"I—I," I stammered. I didn't know what to say. I was hurt. I felt betrayed. "You should have told me." I said indignantly.

"You're right. I have no excuse," answered Kurt. "I'm very sorry, Andi."

"I think I should go," I answered.

"Andi!" exclaimed Lacey. "He's Kurt Cobain!"

"So what?" Kurt turned to Lacey. "I'm nobody."

"You're so not a nobody," said Lacey flirtatiously.

"Lacey, knock it off and get in the car! Same with the rest of you! We're leaving!"

"You are not going to make me leave Kurt Cobain! Not without at least an autograph! Can I have an autograph?"

This situation had gotten completely out of hand. I was so floored I could hardly wrap my mind about Kurt reluctantly signing a notebook Lacey had pulled from her backpack.

I immediately felt bad for Benny. I knew he wouldn't ask for an autograph, even though he'd surely want one.

"You want one too, kid?" Kurt asked him, even though I could tell he was distraught inside. It made my heart ache, seeing him be sweet to my little brother. I noticed Jody had already gotten into the car.

"Okay, come on guys," I shooed Lacey and Benny back into the car. I looked awkwardly at Kurt for a second who stared back at me.

"Andi, please?" He said quietly.

"No, Kurt," I answered. "I don't know who you are, but you're not who I thought you were." I saw his face fall as I climbed into the car and sped off for the school.

"How the hell do you know Kurt Cobain?" Lacey demanded.

"He came to the motel, obviously."

"But it seemed like you knew him."

"He's stayed a few times now. Besides, you guys knew who he was more than I did." I laughed nervously.

"I think there's something you're not telling us," Lacey continued as I pulled up to the school.

"Alright, get out before you are late!" She and Benny jumped from the car.

"What's your deal?" I asked Jody.

"Really Andi?" she snapped. "You wouldn't tell me who you were hooking up with and it's Kurt fucking Cobain!"

"Whoa!" I snapped. "We never hooked up or anything close to that! And I didn't know who he was, obviously."

"And now you're going to act all pissy with him because you're crazy."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You won't just sleep with him like any normal woman would. It's Kurt Cobain! At your job! Being nice to you!" Jody shouted. I shrugged.

"He's really just a regular guy," I answered.

"He's a fucking rock star! I swear to God, Andi."

"You're just jealous," I answered.

"Yes, I am fucking jealous!" She answered. "But you should still fuck him. I would."

"The whole world knows you would," I answered with a small laugh as I dropped Jody off at work.

"Bitch!" she retorted with a smirk as she jumped from the car.

I couldn't wrap my mind around my morning as I continued on my errands. How could Kurt not have told me? I was so hurt, I hoped I'd never see him again.