romanogers one shots

The ultimate April's fool

Written by Orphan_account on Archive of our own.
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23440678

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Operation Red, White, and Blue – Strike Time: April 1st, 7 AM

Steve and Bucky had just returned from their morning run as they entered the kitchen, both had sweat dripping down their foreheads and their shirts were drenched. Rhodey waved hello to them as he began to mix his pre-workout smoothie, ignoring the package that was sitting on the counter. A curious Bucky walked over to it to read the label.

He handed it to Steve, "It has your name on it."

"That's weird, I don't remember ordering anything." The super soldier said as he began to open it. "Doesn't have a return address either."

Rhodey, who had only been half-listening at that point stopped the blender in alarm. Today's date flashed in his mind, "Wait—!"

Too late, he thought miserably to himself as the package exploded in a sparkly boom. Luckily he wasn't soaked in sweat or in the small vicinity like Bucky and Steve, who now resembled life-sized glittery dolls as red, white, and blue glitter stuck to their skin and clothes. Rhodey held back a laugh as Steve and Bucky coughed, sending some of the sparkles flying across the kitchen that would be a pain to clean up later on.

On cue, the small Roomba that Tony had purchased swept into the room to clean up the mess, shouting "Happy April Fool's!" Steve and Bucky groaned as they headed towards their floors to wash off, the persistent Roomba following them the whole way to pick up their glitter trail. Shaking his head at their naivete, Rhodey was glad he had meetings outside of the tower all day. Whoever was behind this prank had some serious brains and had clearly put a lot of work into it.

Steve stepped out of the shower after finally getting rid of all the glitter that had stuck to his skin like glue. He didn't even want to think about how it had gotten underneath his shirt and pants or why it had to take so long to wash off. The Roomba was still crawling around his bedroom repeating that annoying phrase, it was starting to grate his nerves. He vowed to find whoever did this and make them pay despite usually being a patient person.

He was just about to dry off when the ceiling vent slid aside, causing Steve to look up in suspicion. Hadn't Clint gotten the hint to not crawl in the vents near the bathrooms anymore? But to Steve's horror it wasn't Clint's face who popped out, but his girlfriend's.

"Nat?"

"Hi, soldier," her eyes twinkled dangerously as she pulled out a huge bag full of glitter. Steve's eyes popped out just as she released a storm of that hated substance down on him, having no time to run as it got all over him again. This time it was sticking to parts he knew would take hours to completely wash.

"Natasha!" Steve shouted angrily as she snapped a picture of him.

"Happy April Fool's Day," his girlfriend blew him a kiss. "I promise this picture is just for my eyes only." She quickly sealed up the vent and left Steve to try to wash off the glitter yet again.

On a man-hunt for his girlfriend an hour later, Steve yielded no results by lunch. Instead, he ran into Tony who was muttering about malfunctioning A.I.s and cursing out Peter's name. Steve didn't linger to hear that story, he had a girlfriend to get revenge on and had already searched the entire tower twice. Bucky had even helped look for Natasha once he was done pissing himself at the fact that Steve got glitter-bombed again. His best friend was practically useless in the search because all he did was tease Steve about it, so when Wanda wanted to spend time with her boyfriend Steve happily let him go.