romanogers one shots

Slide me (through the open door)

Written by Yanak324 on Archive of our own.

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Wakanda is beautiful but it's not home.

Maybe if he'd woken up here instead of New York City, he may have just stayed and this entire mess never would have happened.

But as it stands, as he stands, leaning his forehead against the cool glass and staring off into the foggy rain forest, Steve knows all the way down to his bones that there is no alternate universe in which he wouldn't end up where he is now – at least metaphorically.

He would still fight for Bucky, still protect Wanda and still refuse to sign the damn Accords.

He would still plant himself like a tree and not move.

The only thing he regrets is the collateral damage – so much of it that it's almost too overwhelming to think about – especially since he had such a direct hand in most of it.

The team might be alive and out of prison but they don't seem better off for it.

He's not worried about Lang – the guy is all too familiar with being a fugitive, and seemed to actually get off on sticking it to the big guys.

But the rest of them, Jesus...

The very fact that Clint can't see his kids for the foreseeable future tears Steve up inside, especially after the archer promised to keep Wanda safe.

And Sam...good old reliable Sam, who so vehemently protested separating from Steve and Bucky after they broke him out of prison – Sam has probably been to a dozen different countries by now in an effort to cover his tracks.

And Tony...Steve doesn't even know where to begin.

He'd written that letter seemingly on autopilot, because for the life of him, he can't remember what he wrote, except for the part where he promised to be there if Tony called. Because he would be.

He'd be just a phone call away for the rest of his life if that's what it took to chase the guilt away.

Guilt he had shoved to the deepest crevice of his mind during the battle. Guilt he'd hoped to channel towards Bucky's recovery.

But with Bucky where he is now...well damn.

Steve backs away from the window when he finds himself pressing too hard on the glass.

With one more glance at the scenery, he leaves the room, hoping to find a quiet place to sit and think about his next move.

Weeks later, when Steve reflects on that day, he finds it quite ironic that the one person he hadn't really thought of or worried about is the one who shows up at his front door.

"What? Surprised to see me, Cap?" Natasha asks by way of greeting before pushing her way into the massive suite.

Steve is so relieved to see her, he doesn't stop her. He just stands mutely by the door, watching her scan the space.

"The people of Wakanda are strangely forgiving and very hospitable apparently." Natasha turns around with a smile that immediately falls upon inspection of his face.

He opens his mouth to speak, to say anything – choke out an overdue apology maybe, but Natasha holds up her hand.

"Before you start self-flagellating, let me tell you why I'm here."

Her expression immediately morphs into something that's almost intimate, the game face he's seen countless times before. It would be comforting in a way if it wasn't so unnerving.