Graveyard • Dazai x Reader

5: Chains

"I can't. Dazai, I can't watch anymore."

Body shaking, tears roll down your face as you watch the sea of bodies laying stone cold on the ground, the red moon makes the blood below look darker, deeper. Your hand is stretched out as one of the few last men standing succumbs all control to your ability without a choice, his body quivering and already bruised, his arm broken and hanging uncomfortably.

"Don't be weak now, [f/n]. You've done so well already...finish him off, and take in every detail of it. It's the only way you'll learn." Dazai says softly, standing next to you, his one visible eye blank of any indication of regret or sympathy.

"No...they didn't deserve all of this."

"They did. They defied the Port Mafia, and their life was meaningless anyways. Death is just another part of living. They deserved it. Repeat that."

"It's horrible. Some of them were innocent...I've destroyed them." You whisper, ignoring Dazai's reasoning and eyes widening as you then feel cold metal suddenly pressed against your temple, fear rushing through you.

"Kill him, or you'll join them too. There is no room for such weakness in the Port Mafia. Don't make me regret taking care of you the last 3 years." Dazai demands, holding one of his guns to you, eyes not even focused on your trembling self but on the man you refused to kill.

You know you have no choice.

If he killed you, he couldn't comfort your guilty heart. If he killed you, it meant leaving him and being a regret.

"Death is just another part of living." You echo his earlier words. "They deserved it..." your crying is silent now, your heart numbing as you run out of tears.

"Don't test me."

Silence.

"They deserved it" You then whisper to yourself, over and over, convincing yourself this is true.

For Dazai.

For yourself.

You hear Dazai begin to prepare to pull the trigger, and as soon as you feel his finger pulling, you stretch out your hand and clench it together, crunching all the bones of the man that had been under your power and immediately killing him.

Blood drips out the dead body the same moment Dazai lowers the gun from your head, putting it away and suddenly taking your wrist and pulling you in to an embrace, one of his bandaged hands stroking your hair and head meaning to calm you down.

"Good Girl. I knew you wouldn't let me down."

In that moment, under the moonlight, you and Dazai stand almost perfectly still in front of the massacre you had pulled, the bodies laying like stones in their blanket of red overtop the tainted grass, trees moving to the cool breeze of the dark night, no one else but the two of you present. You don't push Dazai away when he hugs you, but instead welcome it, the warmth of a hug being something you didn't know yourself you craved, his two words stuck on a loop in your head:

'Good Girl'

To you, it means you are in the right even when you bend the world into new horrific realities; to you, it means as long as Dazai is there, you have a home.

"I told you, when you're with me your power is unquestionable. Next time, don't hesitate."

•••

"What is wrong with you?" Akutagawa stares at you long and hard, rain plastering his dark hair to his face. The tension in the silence between the two of you is excruciatingly miserable and dangerous.