Graveyard • Dazai x Reader

16: A Cycle

Yosano's eyes study you briefly with concern and intrigue, making a multitude of decisions about you in the few seconds you both take each other in. You had winced when she first touched you, your shoulder still sore and sensitive from the wound you had sustained, and without a word she seemed to understand.

Her touch on your shoulder grew lighter than the firm grip she had gotten your attention with; the squeeze turning into only a gentle weight from her slender hands.

You remember the last time you'd seen her, the resentment you bore for her when she watched with her pained expressions worn so elegantly, watching you leave without a word as you ran and your heart collapsed in itself with your thoughts only focusing on Dazai.

You thought you could hate her.

You don't know why.

Now, your stomach only gives you a warning with flutters. A warning to what? Perhaps it was the notion that if you gave in to her stern gaze, so much more would be revealed.

So much more you can't handle.

"You're back." Yosano suddenly says with a sigh, like she was relieved of a huge weight on her shoulders. The features on her face soften, her dark hair swaying with the way she leaned towards you, studying you before leaning away again.

"Back?" Atsushi echoes Yosano's words, and it's his confused questioning that breaks you from your trance, pulling your hands away from him and going stiff, Yosano taking her hand off you almost immediately after.

You look between the two of them, Atsushi's kind face desperately trying to read the situation and Yosano standing next to you trying to shoot a warning look towards Atsushi, and you feel as though your heart is being squeezed and your airway blocked, a lump in your throat not allowing you to speak nor breathe.

Dazai had left you to be displayed like a doll with loose strings placed upon a stage, enveloped and made beautiful with lies. He had let you meet Atsushi knowing exactly how you'd feel because the Dazai you remember knew everything, and now he tested you.

The only problem was, you didn't know the right answers from the wrong nor how far your act was supposed to go.

Rain had begun to fall outside, heavy droplets hitting against the cafe windows in disarray, the consistent tapping starting to add to the anxiety that coursed through you. Everything became a problem, from the way Yosano patted down her skirt, the sound of its ruffles against the booth, the way Atsushi shifted uncomfortably, cloth against leather, the coolness of the cafe itself giving you uncomfortable chills that left the hair on your arms raised.

Your coat is no longer enough to keep you warm; to keep you safe.

Unable to sit there anymore, you abruptly stand up, eyes frantically searching for the man that had left you there, hands on the table for support as you walk past Yosano and leave Atsushi at the table. You want answers, but most of all you want him to make everything go away, just as he did when he approached you the other night, when his touch alone became like a numbing drug no matter the resentment or hate you felt.

Just as you feel yourself getting dizzy, only taking you a few seconds to realize that Dazai wasn't in the cafe at all which meant he had abandoned you again without a word, you realize that the pain on your shoulder had spiked, and when you look under your jacket with shaking fingers, you realize you're bleeding.