Graveyard • Dazai x Reader

10: Tête-à-Tête

"You're a problem."

It has been a little less than a day since Akutagawa knocked you out, since you had last seen Dazai, and you feel like you've been beaten down and wrung out, left for the circling vultures who had been expecting you to drop at any moment. Your mind had completely shut down, and you stubbornly refused to tell anyone what had happened, which had caused a lot of frustration for two specific executives.

When you had woken up, white, fluorescent lights blinded you in your delirium, heart rate rising in an onset panic and debilitating shocks of pain shooting from your shoulder as you tried to get up, setting the rest of your nerves on fire. The first person you saw upon waking up was Kouyou, her hair not in her usual up-do, but resting gracefully along her shoulders, as if she had been rushed to be there. She had immediately helped you up and then briefly hugged you close to her in order to calm you down, firmly telling you to stop struggling because of your wound, and that you were safe. When you finally stop fighting her touch, she lets you go, and when your eyes had finally adjusted, you were able to get a clear look at the room you are in — as well as the expression on Kouyou's face.

The room is clearly an infirmary, cold and infused with the smell of different disinfectants, in no way welcoming but not completely uncomfortable either. Looking down at your body, you recognized the majority of it being the same as your attire from the other day, except your shirt had been changed into a loose blouse and a multitude of bandages have been wrapped around your shoulder. On a table stand you see your original shirt bloodied and ripped, along with other equipment you assume had been used on you. Letting out a shaky sigh, you then looked up at Kouyou.

Kouyou looked at you not with anger, but with the same glow of purpose you had seen on Yosano before you had run, except Kouyou's sharp eyes were infused with more than a certain purposeful determination, but also a deeply sad look of guilt and frustration.

"I thought I had taught you better than to run after men who promise you nothing for your greatness." Kouyou had said, and though she was only a little more than a few years older than you, you wonder if this is how it felt to disappoint ones mother. You felt ashamed in that moment, but you said nothing, and became angry for being ashamed.

You had done it for him. Kouyou knew what Dazai meant to you.

Once Kouyou had left, you were left alone for a while, and in those minutes (or hours, you couldn't tell) alone, you think you see a glimpse of Akutagawa's figure through the infirmary doors, and part of you hopes he's there, or that he'll make an appearance, but he never does. You aren't sure yourself why you want to see him, but you know you'd know when you see him again.

The one who did make an appearance after Kouyou however, and who now stood in front of you, is Chuuya, and unlike Kouyou, Chuuya is angry.

"You're a problem."

You look up at Chuuya from your infirmary bed, matching his gaze with challenge gleaming in your own eyes. The shadow his fedora casts over his eyes does nothing to hide how he is feeling, and you want to look away, but you can't without indirectly accepting his chastising words. You don't want to accept that you'd been wrong in any way to chase after Dazai after being told he was alive.

It would drive you back to a teetering sanity.

Plus, they knew.

They knew you had been mentally tortured with those questions for years.

Chuuya takes your continuous silence as an insult, and it leaves him further infuriated.

"When on a mission, it is on you to act responsibly and with the best interests of the organization in mind. It is also on you to carry the mission out in the most efficient way possible where our goals are met..." he begins to talk, not moving from his spot across from you, standing in the shadows of the infirmary with his arms crossed across his chest.