One Fate Leads To Another

Chapter 10: Detachment

Two years passed, and I was in the sixth year now. Severus had gained himself a firm position among the death eaters. He went from avoiding me to completely cutting off his tie with me. As Remus and I spent more time together, I grew closer to the Marauders.

"Lizzie, you should go on a date with Moony," said Sirius to me, with Remus right by his side. Remus seemed mad when he heard his friend and hit Sirius' head with a book he held, but kept his sight on me to watch my reaction carefully.

Seeing that I was not responding, Remus turned to Sirius. "It's alright. I know what I am, Padfoot."

Sirius stared at Remus as if he was a complete fool. "Well, Lizzie. It might change your mind if you've heard the news..."

"Don't," exclaimed Moony.

They got me curious, "No, go on, Sirius. I'd like to know."

They exchanged their look, and then Remus slightly nodded. Having received his permission, Sirius started talking.

"The death eaters are not just brutal and coldblooded, you know? I was born into a twisted family, and I have seen the nastiest things happen between those hypocrites. They had an orgy party last week. You know what orgy is, don't you?"

I nodded. Remus looked surprised and Sirius just grinned.

"Great," Sirius continued. "I thought I had to explain it to you. Well, this party is different from those I've heard before. They got muggle-born witches and wizards, gave them imperius curse and performance-enhancing potion, if you know what I mean. And guess who brewed them all those potions?"

My face turned red from frustration and anger. "Severus..." I uttered his name bitterly. Just when I thought the bad news was over, Sirius carried on.

"Yes, and his contribution was well-rewarded. He was there at the party, Lizzie. He was there torturing innocent people, and you still hope to be with him... open your eyes! Moony right here had a crush on you for ages! He couldn't shut up about you."

There was too much information to digest. I was on the one hand sickened by Severus' involvement in such a nasty and evil act, and on the other hand, flattered by Remus' affection for me. What happened two years ago, the things he said to me, I thought it was not serious. He was very drunk and we made fun of it. Had his crush on me continued all this time?

"I..." My mouth opened but I drew a blank. "He..." I wanted to defend Severus, but he was indeed guilty. I looked at Remus. He saw through my struggle, yet his sight was even softer than normal.

"It's okay, Lizzie. I never asked you to be with me because I can't promise you anything... Not wealth, not power... in fact, you have no reason to be with me if I cannot even give you a safe and steady life. You were there for me when I changed into a monster, but what kind of woman would want a werewolf as a spouse?"

I was moved. It was an honest confession that came from him, and there were no fancy expressions from his friends.

"You are right. It was dangerous. You might not ever have a normal life like the rest of us. What kind of employer would hire you? What woman would let you bear her child?"

He was speechless.

"You haven't found the answers to these questions, but I do, because I know you will still get a job, and you will encounter love that goes beyond the surface. If you have met friends that would put themselves in danger for your protection, you will meet other kind folks."

"Whatever struggles you is not the reason why I can't give you an answer... I need time to move on, but I want you to understand this, that your situation does not make you unlovable. You are one of the kindest and the most sympathetic person I've met. Don't lose your hope, Remus. In darkness there is light, and in light there is hope."

I gave him a comforting smile and left. Sirius was deeply impressed. At last, he was able to comprehend his friend's feelings for me. As he tilted his head to send Remus an affirming glare, Padfoot was stupefied to catch his friend tearing up.

Lily heard about our conversation a few days later. She was also deeply disappointed with Severus. She was not talking to him at all ever since he became one of the followers of the Dark Lord, but she confronted him as she commiserated over my melancholy.

"Lizzie was worried sick for you, Sev," Lily said, irritated by his unconcerned look. "She still wants to defend your reputation!"

"I don't need her to defend anything for me," Severus replied coldly. He turned his back on Lily and walked away.

"We grow up together, Sev... Even if you don't concern about me, how could you not care for her?"

Severus sighed. "Lily, please. I don't want to explain it."

"But Lizzie turned down Remus because of you!"

He stopped as he heard the name of that half-wolf. How dare he pursue Liz when he was not around? Severus frowned. He would not tell a soul about the reason he was choosing this path. Although people were right about him, he was going after power and fame, but all of that was about becoming strong enough to shield Liz from all the harm.

The scene of the girl pushing him away to take the scratch from a werewolf flashed by his mind. He was faithful that eventually, his efforts would pay off. Then, he could truly claim Liz as his.

He kept marching away from Lily. As he turned around at the corner, Lucius Malfoy and Avery were waiting for him.

It was soon the last year we spend in Hogwarts. It would be unfair to say all Slytherins are supporters of you-know-who, but it was undeniable that many Slytherins were recruited. People like me were misfits, and my untraceable bloodline made me an easy target. My career aspiration was therefore a natural decision; to join the Order of the Phoenix.

Severus would still pause his walk for a short while whenever he saw me from a distance, but I decided to stop approaching him deliberately. He wouldn't talk to me anyway, not when his pure-blood supremacist friends were watching.

Remus and I were now more than good friends. He was extremely tolerable with every demand that I made. I was uncertain whether it was his character, or that he has simply spent too much time with Sirius, he was very flirty when we were alone.

Severus bumped into us before. Remus would take back his hand from mine the first few times. I'd always give him a grateful look afterwards. There was just once when neither of us saw Severus walking in our direction from our back. Remus was holding my hand and whispering to my ear. I was giggling at his funny story about Sirius' failed prank on James.

A callous stare pierced through us like a sharp blade. I shivered as I recognised the scent of herb on him. I turned around, and Remus followed. Instinct caused him to take his hand back, but this felt wrong.

"Severus?" I looked at his face as Remus took his hand off mine. None of us was wearing a pleasant face. Severus glanced at my hand, did not respond, and marched away.

"I'm sorry, Remus. You shouldn't have to do that."

"It's fine. I know you'll figure this out, eventually."