The Rent Boy (EDITING)

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Realisation-

    I stayed at Logan's last night, once we'd got back from the beach. We'd spent most of the night just staring up at the ceiling in silence. It wasn't so much an awkward silence, but it wasn't exactly all too comfortable either. Neither of us knew what to say to each other. I don't really think there was anything to say. I was still pretty much recovering from the shock. 

    I wasn't able to get much sleep, too much was on my mind and every time I closed my eyes, I saw things that I thought would only happen in a nightmare. But I knew at some point, they'd happen to me. It was inevitable. I know everyone dies, everyone has their time, but Logan's shouldn't be yet. It shouldn't be taken from him so soon. That just wasn't fair. 

    For most of today, we'd been okay, though. We hadn't brought up anything from yesterday in conversation. I guess it was a silent, mutual agreement to just leave it alone for a while. It wasn't exactly the sunshine to everyone's day. We'd managed to have a laugh here and there, but they never lasted very long. It didn't feel right to laugh.

    I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket, but it didn't click inside my head to answer it. It was a few minutes after it'd stopped that I reached inside my pocket and pulled it out. Apparently, I'd just had a missed call from Nate. 

    "Shit, I have to go." I said with regret. I didn't want to leave. I felt like if I left, something bad would happen. I knew it was just my paranoia, but I couldn't help but let it get the best of me. "It's my work." I explained, looking down at Logan, from where he was laid on the floor. I was laid out on his bed, taking up all the room. 

    I wasn't really sure why Logan was laying on the floor. I guess he sort of just decided that that's what he wanted to do. I didn't question him or object, didn't really even notice until now, to be honest. He pushed himself into a sitting position, looking at me with a sad curve to his brows. 

    I flung my legs over the side of the bed and slipped my shoes on, all the while looking back at Logan, apologetically. "I'm really sorry, but Kyle will kill me. I have to." 

    Logan nodded in understanding, getting to his feet and planting himself beside me, on the bed. "But you'll come back, yeah?" 

    "Promise," I assured, holding out my little finger for him. He hooked his pinky around it and we shook once. Pinky promise. It reminded me of Alex, which instantly had a sinking feeling in my chest weighing me down. I missed that Alex. The one that was innocent and sweet. Everything the new Alex wasn't, it seemed. 

    "Can't you just quit?" Logan asked as I was tugging my jacket over my shoulders. I looked at him with bewilderment. "You clearly hate it. I hate it. I mean, you sleep with men for a living."

    "No, I can't just quit. It's a lot more complicated than that, Logan. Where would I stay? How would I get money? I don't have any other options." 

    "You have me." 

    "And for how long?" I didn't intend to sound as harsh as I did. The anger and hurt I was feeling about the situation I was in with him, started resurfacing. We'd managed to keep those feelings at bay ever since what happened at the beach. We couldn't keep avoiding it forever, though. 

    Logan dropped his head into his hands. "I'm sorry I asked. It was a stupid idea."

    I knelt down in front of him, pulling his hands away from his head so that he'd look at me. "I'm sorry. I don't like relying on people, is all. I have to do things on my own, and until I can figure something out, this job, and that apartment, is all I have."

    "I know, I get it. I just hate the thought of guys touching you, it just- god I hate it." 

    "It's not so bad anymore, you know? Used to be a lot more guys than it is now. I sort of live off the money I get from Nate, really. And Nate, well, he's okay. I think you'd like him."