It wasn't fake..

Chapter 8: Simme and Wille's Pov

TW!!!!!!:
Mention of drugs, alcohol, self harm, blood.
If you feel uncomfortable with any of the topics mentioned above, Please do not continue reading this chapter. Thank you

                                                The author

Wille

It has been 2 months since I came out, and 1 month since the fight between Simon, me ,Felice, Madison and Sara. It was now March. None of us were talking to her honestly, but I sort of feel bad for her. She is always around August and she always looks upset. I've tried talking to her sometimes, but Simme says it's a waist of time.

The last few days I have been thinking about my future. If my parents don't accept me, they won't let me attend Hillerska anymore because Simon is there.  They won't accept me back at the castle because of my relationship with him, what am I supposed to do?

After class today, I told Simon I wanted to talk to him. He looked a little panicked when he heard it, but of course he said okay. We went to our room, sat down together, and I started the conversation.

'Simme you know that I love you..' I said

'Yes I know, and I love you too Wille, but what is going on?' He asked and held my hand

W: Simme what am I supposed to do after this school year?

He stayed silent for a bit, with an upset, numb look on his face, as he took my fists in his hands

S: what do you mean, Wille..

W: My parents will refuse to pay for another school year here at Hillerska because you're here, they probably won't even let me go back to the caste because of our relationship. Where am I supposed to live and go to school Simme... I don't want to break up with you again, there must be a way..

Simon stayed silent , looking at me in the eyes, I could tell he wanted to say something, but couldn't find the right words. I held his hands tight and looked at him, waiting for the words to come out of his mouth.

Simme

Wille was right. We have been together for 2 whole months but we never thought about how things were going to go after the school year was finished. I didn't know what to say, I just stayed there silent for a few minutes, until I finally found the right words to speak.

'Wille I never thought about how hard this was going to be for you. I don't want you to be kicked out of your own home and school because of me. Would it be better if we just stopped seeing eachother...?' I said. I knew I messed up, I looked in his eyes and saw that he was holding in his tears

'Wille please say something...' I added

'This can't be the only way Simon..' Wille said, as he started tearing up

'Wille you can't be homeless because of me..' I responded. He just stayed there. Silent.

W: Do you really think this is the only solution? Or do you want to break up with me because of Sara?

S: Wille what are you talking about? We both know Sara is wrong about the things she said to you. You're not a bad boyfriend, or a bad person

W: Simon if you really want to break up with me for another reason, just say it.

S: I don't! I'm just looking out for you! You can't stay homeless

W: I can, if it means that we won't break up then I can. Please Simme there must be another way

S: I'm sorry Wilhelm, I can't let you suffer like that

Those were my last words to him. We kissed for the last time, and I walked out of the room.

Wille

I couldn't believe it. Simon had broken up with me so I wouldn't stay homeless. I already missed him, his voice, his curls, his touch, his smile, his lips, everything about him.

I knew this was going to happen, I knew that we probably weren't going to last for way too long. Nobody ever wants to be by my side, I'm completely alone now. I thought to myself, what's the point of living if I have nobody left and everyone probably hates me anyways?

I remembered I had some alcohol and drugs from that party with the society before Christmas. I immediately took them out of the closet and started taking them. I took and drank everything until the closet was now empty.

I found a sharpener on my desk, I removed the sharp silver thing from it, and I cut my arm 8 times. Blood was suddenly everywhere, and then everything turned black.