Permanently Forever | JavaJunkie ✔️

04 | i can't live without you

and if the week got any worse for lorelai, at the end of it there was always friday night dinner. unfortunately, the lunch with florence and emily was not enough for the two of them to get out of it.

sometimes they'd bring luke, but today it was only the two of them. besides, he didn't appreciate dinner and would rather hide at the diner that probably had no customers inside.

lorelai was driving and rory was in the passenger's seat. usually they'd sing to songs and dance to weird moves they made up. other times they'd make jokes or talk about the life they were living so far. but this time, the car ride was completely silent. there was no music, no jokes, no nothing.

eventually, rory realized that they would have to speak at one point. they were going to dinner, and emily would question their every action if they were acting just the slightest bit off. lorelai knew that as well, but didn't really take it into account. she was pregnant with luke's child. how could she take anything into account?

"so...you gonna tell them?" rory moved in her seat so she could look at her mother who was driving but staring directly into space. it was good they were driving on a straight road with no cars except for theirs.

"no, of course i'm not gonna tell my mother and father that i'm pregnant to a kid i don't even know i want yet." she simply spoke, not taking her eyes away from the road or moving a muscle on her face. rory shifted back to where she was before and looked straight ahead of her.

"why wouldn't you want another baby? aren't you little miss baby fever?" she reminded her, but lorelai didn't change her mind and it looked like she wasn't ever going to. not any time soon, at least.

"let's look at the logistics, shall we? you like the logistics, right?" she answered, her tone a little less monotone but her eyes glued onto the road at all times. "i'm settled with the life i have and i'm too afraid to change that all of the sudden. one little change and everything could blow up. luke could be leaving me, i could be leaving luke, emily and richard could have a meltdown and never speak to us again. and for the longest time it's just been you and me, rory. it feels wrong to have another kid right now. i like it with just you and me."

rory looked down to her lap, her hands on top of them and folded together neatly. lorelai was right. it had been the two of them for as long as she could remember, and neither of them were sure if they wanted to let that go just yet. but rory also knew that things were never permanent. sometimes change is good. sometimes change doesn't have to be so scary.

"but forget about me, forget about luke, and grandma and grandpa." rory told her. she spotted a tree outside in the distance that was a landmark she always recognized when they were almost at her grandparent's house. "if you didn't have to worry about them and me, what would you decide? for yourself?"

lorelai rubbed her forehead with her two fingers and put it back on the steering wheel once she was finished.

"sweetie, it's not that simple." she argued with her.

"but it doesn't have to be so hard!" her daughter answered back. "can you just tell me? if you're not gonna do anything about it soon then it's gonna be too late."

lorelai turned right, where the big rich and expensive home of emily and richard gilmore was located. the same one lorelai lived in when she was a little girl. she parked the car in the driveway, but didn't bother removing her seatbelt or opening the door. rather, she stayed in her place, rory waiting right beside her.

she opened her mouth, but it took a while for words to actually form and come out into the open. when she did manage to speak, her voice was just as monotone as it was the entire conversation they were having while on their way to friday night dinner.